What was Abraham thinking? He was already famous as the person who defeated the Four Kings in battle. Abraham could not simply choose to settle anywhere without being perceived as a potential threat. Yet, he wants to move away from Sodom because the area has been devastated and he cannot spread his message of God. Did he believe that he could settle down, even temporarily, in Gerar, the land of the Philistines, without making Avimelech nervous? Abraham knew that his arrival would catch the king’s attention.

Abraham had no reason to be intimidated by Avimelech, and the Philistine King was probably desperate to establish peaceful relationships with this powerful personality. He had reason to want Abraham’s “sister” as a wife. What better way to form a bond with Abraham?

People were already nervous. A major commercial area, Sodom and her sister cities, had been destroyed, reminiscent in everyone’s mind of Noah’s Flood. When Abraham traveled, everyone knew. Reporters researched his background and probably uncovered the story of Pharaoh and Sarah. Avimelech had good reason to assume that Abraham, secure and strong, wouldn’t pull the same “sister” trick. What was Abraham thinking when he settled in Gerar? …when he presented Sarah as his sister?

The only hint we have of Abraham’s thinking is when he justifies his lie by saying, “There is no fear of the Lord in this place (20:11).” Abraham was the perfect person to consult about the Divine destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Avimelech’s first question should have been about the devastation, not peace treaties! The King had good reason to suspect that marrying Abraham’s sister wouldn’t help: Sodom was destroyed despite the fact that Abraham’s nephew, Lot, lived there. Avimelech doesn’t mention the terrifying destruction of Sodom. It’s as if he took it all in stride. Avimelech wasn’t paying attention. He learned nothing from Sodom. Abraham knew that there was no fear of the Lord in this place.

He suspected that Avimelech was someone who refused to learn from the past, so he pulled the same “sister” trick he had famously pulled in Egypt. He was right! Avimelech ignored all the press reports and chose to move ahead with his own agenda. Avimelech’s lack of fear of the Lord indicated a person who did not pay attention to the past. He would ignore Abraham’s great military victory.

Avimelech eventually considers the past: “At that time, Abimelech and Phicol, general of his legion, said to Abraham, ‘The Lord is with you in all that you do.” Rashi explains that they referred to Abraham’s victory over the Four Kings. “At that time,” only after Abraham exiled his son Yishmael, did Avimelech consider Abraham’s victory. Only then did Avimelech and his general consider the Lord. Why?

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“Good people strengthen themselves ceaselessly (Confucius).” My back is aching more than usual, and it’s my fault. I knew that if I would shovel the snow that fell over Shabbat  two weeks ago that my body would hurt. I was being a good person, as I cleared the snow (when my wife wasn’t watching) so that my wife could reach her car.

Then, my older neighbor, a doctor, mentioned to me that he exercises all year so that he can shovel the snow without hurting himself. I have not been regularly exercising to prepare for the winter, or even to strengthen my muscles to support my constantly aching back. I have not been ceaselessly strengthening myself; does that mean that I am not being the good person described by Confucius? Probably.

If I have to exercise to prepare for shoveling snow, I certainly have to exercise to be ready to be tested by God. I’ve been wondering whether this Spiritual Workout is what our Sages mean when they describe Abraham as tested ten times: The ten times that Israel tested God in the desert, are actually nine plus one that was more than the previous tests combined. The first nine tests were “tests” of how far Israel could go in testing God; they were all preparation for the tenth test. Abraham’s first nine tests were a spiritual workout, all meant to prepare him for the tenth and only test that truly mattered.

“He looked and saw the place from a distance,” can also mean that Abraham looked back on how far he had traveled through life to arrive at this test. He understood that all that preceded this moment was a complex workout to prepare him for the Akeidah.

We all feel tested by God, but I wonder how often we consider whether the immediate test is part of a spiritual workout, or the defining test. Failing a workout test, as the Ramban suggests Abraham did, is not a failure; it is a learning experience to train me for the defining test. The difference matters.

I think I’ll go exercise…

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It was the third day after Abraham was circumcised and he was in pain. So how do we explain what he does? He saw men approaching his tent. He ran to greet them and bowed before them. He ran to tell Sarah to make cakes, and again ran to take a calf to be slaughtered for a meal. He then carried the meal to the men and stood by them as they ate, in case they needed something else.

Wait a minute. What about the pain? Did it magically disappear?

The answer is one I experienced years ago. I was visiting a friend in the hospital, and he was in bad shape. During the first 20 minutes of my visit, he was in discomfort and hardly spoke. I was distressed. But then I asked if he wanted to hear an idea I had on the Torah reading. After saying my part, he began, in an animated voice, telling me his thoughts on the Torah reading. He became a different person. After 5 minutes, his wife looked at me in astonishment, and I gave her the same look. This was the antidote. He was focused on something he was passionate about, and he ignored or did not notice his discomfort.

Abraham did the same thing. The story also teaches us how to visit the sick and be helpful. Engage them in something that is their passion, and they will be their own pain killers.

I only notice them on Shabbat, up toward the ceiling; spiders. There’s nothing I can do about them because of Shabbat. I may not kill them, or even trap them to move them outside. I may not even plan to kill them after Shabbat, because one may not plan on Shabbat to do something that is forbidden on Shabbat.

I suspect that these spiders have spent so much time in the house listening to shiurim that they are experts in the laws of Shabbat. The spiders disappear immediately after Havdalah. They know that they are perfectly safe from me on Shabbat and Jewish festivals; yes, they also come out on those days, although, they avoid the living room on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur where we hold services. The spiders in my house are familiar with Halachah, respectful of prayer, and committed to test my observance.

I could, of course, determine that they are poisonous, finding justification to trap them, but they remain in one place all day and pose no threat. Perhaps they know even more Jewish law than I suspect. How sad that my biggest temptation to violate Shabbat has to do with spiders! The real test is not even the desire to kill them, but how they occupy my mind all day, disturb my peace. I have trouble maintaining my concentration for 25 hours because of tiny, albeit smart, spiders. I wonder how Abraham remained focused for 72 hours while headed to Moriah to offer Isaac to God.  The Midrash describes Satan as appearing as a huge river on the way, but I suspect that it was not a huge hindrance, but a series of minor distractions along the way, something such as, well, spiders. Abraham managed his spiders much better than do I.

Satan’s distractions were not intended to stop Abraham from offering Isaac, but from being able to make every moment of the three day trip part of the offering. I can attend prayers, properly celebrate the Shabbat meals, and still have hours of non-Shabbat, distracted from the nature of the day. You see, even when I am frustrated by spiders, I am thinking about Shabbat; how to apply her laws to the situation. The challenge is to focus even the most trivial concerns around Shabbat. Abraham could have remained in contact with his financial advisor even while traveling to Moriah, but he left his iPhone at home. He wanted to use every moment of the trip as part of his offering.

We tend to think of the Evil Inclination’s challenges as huge rivers and mountains and forget that he will take advantage of our concern for the big tests to distract us in small ways…with spiders.

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Sarai expected that when her husband, Abram, had a revelation, that her life would drastically change. One day, Abram informed her that they were about to take everything they owned and begin a journey to a destination yet to be determined. “God promised that I would father a great nation.”

Sarai joined Abram without hesitation, despite a strong suspicion that if her husband would have children that she would not be the mother. She was barren and old.

In fact, Sarai seems to be more concerned than Abram with his building a family. She decided to give Hagar to her husband.

She cooperated with Abram in Egypt at great risk to herself and then willingly took the same approach and risk when they traveled through Gerar.

Abram fought a great war despite the fact that Og was waiting for an opportunity to grab Sarai for himself.

Sarai could handle anything, but nothing could prepare her for the tsunami about to flip her life.

Abraham has another vision. He tells her about circumcision.

He then tells her that God has changed his name to Abraham.

He then informs her that God has changed her name as well. Sarah it will be.

You will have a child.

I kind of laughed when God told me, so must name him Laughter.

The new Sarah, still unaccustomed to her new name, becomes a nurse.

She has been caring for all the newly circumcised males in the household and Abraham decides to sit outside the tent on a boiling hot day to wait for visitors.

Three Bedouins appear and all of a sudden her husband is healed and is running from one place to another with strength and no pain.

While she is watching all this, one of the guests asks about her by her new name, Sarah.

How does this total stranger know my new name?

Sarah then feels some internal sensations that she had not experienced in almost 45 years: she is having her period. She looks in the mirror and sees herself as if she was as a teenager.

The stranger who knew her new name predicts that she will have a baby!

This is all great but too much in too short a time.

It’s ridiculous. It’s amazing! It’s wonderful! It’s strange! Sarah laughs deep inside. Abraham laughed aloud and now they had to name their son “Laughter.” She would not laugh aloud.

It wasn’t the laughter that was an issue; it was the internal laughter:

God speaks to Abraham about changing the world, about history, covenants, destiny, circumcision, life altering instructions, and now He bothers to speak with Abraham about Sarah’s laughter! Why not speak directly to Sarah?

“I didn’t laugh!” She didn’t, at least not aloud. She was frightened to admit to her Internal laughter.

God appears to her and says, “you did laugh. I know. You laughed internally. You should have laughed aloud!”

The one second in which Sarah did not feel comfortable laughing for all to hear was a second of disconnect, a moment of being frightened to be herself. Sarah cannot afford to be frightened of her normal and perfectly reasonable reactions for one second:

Abraham and Sarah will never succeed in building Israel if they teach that a relationship with God entails hiding from ourselves.

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I was trying to turn right and was waiting for people to finish crossing the street. I considered forcing my way through, after all, it was New York City, but there was a policeman at the corner attempting to direct traffic. Some drivers and pedestrians obeyed his hand signals. Others simply ignored him. My impatience got lost as I observed who followed his instructions and who pretended that he wasn’t there.

You can tell a lot about a person from the way he drives, crosses a street in traffic, and his dealings with traffic officers.

There’s the person, who, when he sees that people are waiting to turn, will pick up speed as he crosses the street. Some people maintain their pace and do not pay attention to the honking cars. There is also the person who will slow down just to make you wait a little bit longer.

I decided to place a therapist’s couch on the corner of a busy intersection so I could use their street crossing behavior to pinpoint their psychological issues.

“Excuse me officer,” I said, “Would you mind if I placed a couch on this corner so I can psychoanalyze the people crossing?”

He looked at me as if I was insane; “Are you crazy? You need the couch for yourself!”

Being the patient and understanding man that I am, I asked, “How do you feel when people ignore your hand signals?”

“It’s insulting! If I were not so busy, I would give each one a ticket.”

“Don’t you think that if I could grab them at that moment, in the ‘here and now’ and immediately confront them with their behavior, that they would be forced to acknowledge how they treated you?”

“Of course.”

“That’s exactly why I want to place my couch on the corner.”

He seriously considered my proposal for a second, and then the car behind me honked their horn and I woke up from my fantasy. I will admit that it was immediately replaced by another fantasy having to do with an Uzi.

It’s much harder to deny behavior when immediately confronted in the here and now. Still, I wonder if the couch on the street would actually help:

Isaac was actually a master at such confrontation: “When the men of that place asked him about his wife, he replied, “She is my sister.” He was afraid to say, “She is my wife,” for he thought to himself, “The men of this place will kill me to get Rebecca because she is very beautiful.” After Isaac had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines happened to look out a window and observed Isaac caressing his wife Rebecca. So Abimelech summoned Isaac and said, “She is really your wife! Why did you say, ‘She is my sister’?” Isaac replied, “Because I thought someone might kill me to get her.” Then Abimelech exclaimed, “What in the world have you done to us? One of the men might easily have had sexual relations with your wife, and you would have brought guilt on us!” So Abimelech commanded all the people, “Whoever touches this man or his wife will surely be put to death.”

Abimelech certainly remembered the old “She’s my sister” trick from Abraham’s days. I have no doubt that he vividly recalled the consequences of taking Sarah into his harem. Isaac knew that Abimelech and the people of Gerar remembered, and not fondly, what happens when you start up with an Abramson.

The minute they asked him about his wife, he understood that they had not learned their lesson. So, he played the same game with his wife as had Abraham with Sarah, hoping that “She’s my sister” would trigger their memories and protect his wife and him.

Abimelech stayed away but he kept his eye out for Rebecca. “Abimelech king of the Philistines happened to look out a window and observed Isaac caressing his wife Rebecca. So Abimelech summoned Isaac and said, “She is really your wife! Why did you say, ‘She is my sister’?” Isaac replied, “Because I thought someone might kill me to get her.”

Isaac forced Abimelech to confront his behavior. He held a humiliating mirror in front of Abimelech so he could see that he had not changed and he had not learned his lesson from his experience with Abraham and Sarah.

It didn’t work: Then Abimelech exclaimed, “What in the world have you done to us? One of the men might easily have had sexual relations with your wife, and you would have brought guilt on us!”

Abimelech chose not to see the truth no matter how clear. Isaac insisted on the truth. Perhaps this was a message to the father “trapped” by his son’s lies. We’ll see.

I think I’ll drop the couch on the intersection idea. People don’t want to see what they don’t want to see.

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I remember certain moments in my life by the doors I entered. I stood before each of those doors and realized that the moment I stepped through, my life would be changed. I knew as I stood before the doors to the main sanctuary of the Jewish Center before my Chupah, that I was about to enter an entirely new stage of life.

I have seen too many operating room doors to count. For some reason, the few seconds from when I first glanced the doors until I was wheeled through are more potent memories than my first glimpse of the operating table. They represented entrance into the unknown.

I stopped with my hand on the door before entering the hospital room in which my father died. My life would never be the same once I opened that door. I could not stop whatever was happening, but for some reason, I felt I could delay the inevitable by not opening the door.

I would stop before the door of our house before entering after a long trip abroad. I would picture the faces of my wife and children and experienced walking through that doorway as reentering life as it should be.

All my life I had heard descriptions of the Ari’s Mikvah in Safed. I sucked in the few seconds before entering recalling my imagination’s picture of the cave so I could compare it to the real thing.

We all have our own ways to describe that magical sense of approaching a dramatic change. I associate many such moments with doors.

I have watched people refuse to enter a doctor’s office because they did not want to hear what he was going to say. I have often seen people stop before the doors of a supervisor because they sensed that they were about to be laid off. I watch young men and women hesitate before the doorway into the room where they will take a test that will shape their lives.

This is why Abraham sat “before” the entrance to his tent: He wanted to guide people even as they opened the door into a different world; a world of sharing, a world of Godliness, a world of constant change.

My father zt’l never directly entered the door to the Beit Midrash or synagogue. He paused to prepare himself to step through the door. He taught me to do the same. He held my tiny hand in his and paused before knocking on the door to Reb Moshe zt”l’s apartment. He wanted me to know that I was about step into a different world.

I imagine Abraham sitting before me, waiting to escort me into this week’s portion. I want him to guide me into and through his stories. I see an open door before me each time I open a holy text. I pause for a moment as I consider that my life is about to change.

So, if you ever see me walking around with an open door swung over my shoulder; you’ll know why!

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They appeared as human beings to Abraham, but as angels, to Lot.

They appeared directly before Lot, but as voices from heaven to Hagar in the desert and to Abraham at the Binding of Isaac.

They are the guardians of Eden, and they are the fallen sinners.

They bring healing and they bring destruction.

They bring good news for some, and bad news to others.

They are magical and powerful, and they are vulnerable and limited.

They are mysterious heavenly beings, and they are jobbers and accessible.

Who are these beings? Why do they play such important roles in the stories of Genesis? Why are the stories of the beginnings of humanity so rich with characters so unfamiliar?

The key lies in the difference between their appearance to Abraham and to Lot. Abraham saw three men. Lot saw angels. When Abraham saw a higher spiritual being, he saw something he could be. Lot looked and saw angels: they are so much higher than I that I cannot aspire to live at their level.

They do not appear differently to Abraham and Lot; they appear the same. The difference is one of perception.

Whose approach do we emulate when we describe the great people of the past as supermen, almost as angels? Are we aspiring or are we finding a reason to not demand that we rise to their level?

Why are there so many meetings with angels? The Torah is asking us whether we look and see angels, beyond what we could ever hope to be, or human beings we can emulate and match?

Our history is filled with human beings who aspired to live higher than angels. They are the people who have taught us to fly, grow and accomplish great things.

We have nothing from angels other than some interesting stories.

The Foundation Stone™ and The Foundation Stone™Blog were formed to help us as human beings, rise on our wings of desire to live higher than angels and to learn how to joyously soar with those wings.

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“For now I know that you are a God-fearing man – ‘Yirai Elokim’.” (22:12) “Yirai” also means to see; The Angel was saying, “For now I know that you see the world as do I!”

“And Abraham raised his eyes and saw – and behold, a ram! afterwards, caught in the thicket.” (Verse 13) “And the Lord saw that the light was good.” (Genesis 1:4)  The one who now saw the world through God’s eyes, could see differently, “He raised his vision.”

The verse in the Creation story continues, “And the Lord separated between the light and the darkness.” Rashi comments, “He decreed that the light should not be mingled with the darkness, but should function independently.”

“Behold, a ram, afterwards, caught in the thicket.” Abraham saw the entanglements of the world with his new eyes, with his ability to share God’s view of reality.

“Abraham called the name of that site “Hashem Yireh,” (22:14) Abraham named Mt Moriah as the place where we can see the world as does God – the place we can share His vision.

Abraham taught us that we can use God’s Torah and Mitzvot to see the world through God’s eyes – to share His vision of reality.

This is the highest level of the Wisdom of Sharing.

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Another popsicle story! Yes, for good reason:

My mother ybcl”c was in the hospital over Shavuot 1963. The Baltimore heat was unbearable. My father zt”l walked a few miles to the hospital, and then walked home. He entered the house, collapsed in a chair, and asked me for a popsicle. I ran to the freezer, grabbed a popsicle, and, as always instructed, split it into two, bringing one stick to my suffering father. He looked at me, smiled, and said, “Please bring the other half.” I was shocked as I had never seen anyone eat an entire popsicle, but, you do what your father requests, so I brought the second stick. He quickly finished both sticks and asked for another whole popsicle. My sister and I stood staring at someone eating two whole popsicles.

I turned to my sister and said, “I can’t wait until I am a father and am allowed to eat a whole popsicle!” Another sister looked at me with disgust, “Don’t you realize how hot he is? He is suffering! He’s exhausted. His wife is in the hospital. He has you as a son. You should feel bad for him, not jealous.”

I admit that I did not understand what she was talking about. I was too shocked by my father’s ability to eat two whole popsicles. I wanted to offer to walk to the hospital and back so I could have the same feast. I could only see the world through the eyes of a four year old; how could you possibly feel bad for someone who can eat so many treats?

“Then Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, ‘What have you done to us? How have I sinned against you that you brought upon me and my kingdom such great sin? Deeds that ought not to be done have you done to me!’ And Abimelech said to Abraham, ‘What did you see that you did such a thing?’ And Abraham said, ‘Because I said, There is no fear of God in this place and they will slay me because of my wife. Moreover, she is indeed my sister, my father’s daughter, though not my mother’s daughter; and she became my wife.’” (20:9-12)

Abimelech was sufficiently astute to ask, ‘What did you see that you did such a thing?’ even after his first tirade. He was willing to consider that Abraham had a reason. As astute as he was, Abimelech could not understand Abraham’s reasons. He saw the world only as he could see it. His life vocabulary did not include “There is no fear of God in this place.”

Abimelech never completely understood Abraham; “I do not know who did this thing; furthermore, you have never told me, and, moreover, I myself have heard nothing of it except for today.” (21:26) He didn’t understand Abraham anymore than I as a four year old could understand what my father was experiencing that day.

This portion is filled with stories of Abraham acting in ways inexplicable to his contemporaries: Why the “Plains of Mamre”? Abraham consulted with Mamre about circumcision, which would seem incomprehensible to others. Praying for Sodom, the antithesis of Abraham! Expelling Hagar and Yishmael with insufficient food and water! Not opening his arms to Lot after the destruction of Sodom. The Abimelech stories. Most of all, the Akeidah, the Binding of Isaac. The man of sharing, the master of Chesed, acted in ways impossible to share with the world.

The Wisdom of Sharing includes boundaries: Parents who want to share everything with their children, and will speak openly of their problems, lack those boundaries. Teachers who don’t consider how much wisdom to share in a lecture, offering a hint of infinite wisdom beyond what they are sharing, lack the boundaries of the Wisdom of Sharing.

And there’s more…

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