I want to share this with, you on the deepest depths. When a woman gives birth to a child, in the craziest most unbelievable way, she’s considered un-pure.  She cannot enter the Holy Temple.

So everyone says, when a woman gives birth to a baby it’s the highest experience in the world.  The most G-d like thing in the world is to bring a baby into the world.  You come out from this, and you are impure?  You have to wait to get to the Holy Temple? What’s goingon here?

Everybody knows, especially according to the Kabbalistic tradition, when you are with your wife, the next morning, you have to go to the mikve.  And also you cannot enter into the Holy Temple until you purify yourself.  So everybody says it’s a high thing to be with your wife.  It’s the highest thing in the world, the highest oneness in the world.  So let me share this with you.  Obviously we are fixing everything going back to the fixing of the Tree of knowledge.  You know what needs fixing most?  The fixing of the world is not that side where I am becoming holy because of you.  You know what needs fixing?

The part where I am ready to become unholy because of you.  That needs fixing.  How did the downfall of the world begin?  Adam said to Eve I’m ready to die because of you.  Obviously, he didn’t know how to do it.  That needs a lot of fixing.

So I want to share this with you.  You know what it means to be a good mother?  Every mother is ready to say to a child ‘because of you I’ll be holy.’ The question is, how much are you ready to become unholy for your baby?  How much are you ready to go to the lowest depths for your baby?  Let’s put it in a real simple level.  Every mother and father are ready to be called by the principle of the school, “Listen your son or your daughter is the greatest pupil we’ve ever had in our school.”  But imagine, if everything goes wrong.  How ready are they to go and help their child?  On a simple level, I have seen children calling up their parents, telling them “I just got my PhD at Berkley and I was awarded the highest honors at Berkley.  Would you please be my guests tomorrow?”  Wow, Mr. Moishele Cohen comes all the way from Brooklyn.  But you know, imagine his son calls him up and says, “You know dad, I blew my mind on drugs yesterday, I’m just dead.  Can you please come and help me?”  He has a business meeting.  ”Not just now. I’ll come in a few weeks.  Just tell me how much money you need, I’ll send it to you.”  That’s very beautiful and sweet, but it isn’t.  It isn’t.

******

I want you to know.  You know what the pain is?  G-d says to Eve, “I’ll tell you how to correct it.”  You know what’s happening to a woman when she’s giving birth to a baby?  Mamesh she learns the holiness of the Torah of the nine months, which is an awesome kind of teaching.  The awesomeness of that teaching is that when the baby is born the mother says to the baby ‘I’ll go to the lowest depths for you.  I’m ready to be un-pure, not to be able to go to the Holy Temple’. But gevalt is the mother holy when she gives birth to the baby.  I don’t have to tell you.  Utmost!

You see, it’s the utmost holiness while you’re not holy, utmost highest kind of thing.  You know friends, I’ll tell you something very deep.  If you want to know how much you love each other, you won’t know when you love each other.  Two people can only know how much they love each other, when they hate each other.  How close are you when you’re far?  How much are you praying when you can’t even open your mouth!

******

Here I want to talk to you about something very deep, and I want you to open your hearts in the deepest way.

Everybody is asking, according to the Torah when a woman gives birth to a baby you are not permitted to go to the Holy Temple for a certain amount of time. And everybody is asking, after a woman gives birth to a baby isn’t that the best time to go to the holy Temple? I mean, can you imagine anybody being more purified and more holy and more ready to go to the holy Temple.

The question is even deeper because a lot of Rebbes say so. The truth is that when a woman gives birth to a baby, the whole world can’t stand it, the only one who can stand it is the Ribbono Shel Olam, nobody else. Nobody else.

Ok, now listen to this. This is the deepest depths. The truth is, in the creation of the baby there are three partners. In the birth itself there are only two partners, the mother and G-d. Gevalt is that awesome.

Everybody is asking why is it that Yiddishkeit depends on the mother?

Because as much as the father is a partner in creating the baby, but mamesh in giving birth it is only the mother and G-d. So this is why the Jewishness of the baby depends on the mother.

I want to share something awesome and deep with you.

The truth is, is there anything more close between two souls than a mother and her baby for nine months. You can be very close to a human being but you can never be that close.

You see what it is? You can be very close but I am doing my breathing and you are doing your own breathing. I eat my food, you eat your food. Can you imagine for nine months I am so close to a little soul?

They are mamesh the same breath, the same food, the same everything.

So I want to say the deepest Torah in the whole world. After nine months when the baby is born, if I can be so bold and say so, the mother is like, a little bit sinking ship after her baby.

Suddenly this closeness has stopped. It’s like mourning over the closeness, the deepest closeness in the world. What’s the whole thing about sitting shiva?  I am mourning the physical closeness which doesn’t exist anymore. But here the person is still alive, so it’s a different closeness.

And then I want to throw in one more thing, just listen to it. This is already a Torah from Ishbitser and I’m sure I don’t understand it 100% but just a little bit.

The sad truth is the baby is so angry at the mother and the father because if not for you, I would live forever. If you wouldn’t have eaten the forbidden fruit I would live forever. And basically the way G-d created the world babies were supposed to live forever.

And again listen to this. Obviously as much as the father is, maybe a little bit to blame that there is death in the world, but first there is mamesh Chava.

And second, do you know when they decide in heaven how long a person should live? At that second when the baby is born.

Yomim yetzaru Velo Echad Mehem

I want to say the deepest Torah.

In the very very, deepest way the mother, mamesh all the babies should live forever, in fact a little bit the mother knows how long the baby is supposed to be this world.

Remember Rivkah says LaMa Eshkal Shneychem BeYom Echad, mamesh Rivkah knew when Ya’akov and Esav were supposed to be…

So I want to say the most unbelievable Torah, the mother is sitting shiva not after the baby’s birth but after 150 years of the baby, because she knows at that moment, sadly enough, that this baby will also not stick around till Mashiach is coming.

Here I want to say a gevalt Torah and again this is way out. This might be a too way out thing to say. Remember when Yitzchak was lying on the altar? At that moment our mother Sarah was mamesh ready to die.

That means basically a Jewish mother means two things. She mamesh gives life to the baby and everybody knows why did Sara die at that moment? Because she said if someone has to die, let it be me.

Mamesh she had such mesirus nefesh for Yitzchak.

So you know, at that very instant when the baby is born the mother says to G-d, listen, if someone chas v’shalom, let it be me.

So it’s a little bit tasting of death.

And again I want you to know, everybody knows the whole thing of Yiddishkeit is to be ready to die for G-d 1000 times. What’s the holiness of the first Jewish baby Yitzchak? He was ready to die.

So in the craziest deepest way, whenever a Jewish baby is born at that very instant, since the mother is ready to die for the baby the baby is learning from the mother to have mesirus nefesh for G-d.

It’s unbelievable, the deepest depths of the Torah of Mashiach.

And you know friends, it’s crazy. A father can give over to a baby what to do ,what to eat, it’s all cute and sweet. It doesn’t compare to the teaching the mother gives over to the baby at the moment when the baby is born.

And also I want you to know something very deep. The downfall of the world was when Chava said to Adam I’m dying, I want you to die with me. Remember the Medrash. She was afraid to die alone. That means chas v’shalom, Chava was dying and she dragged Adam down with her. The fixing of Chava is that she says I will die for you. Not only I won’t drag you down with me when I’m dying, I’m ready to die for you. So the deepest fixing of the Chet Eitz Hada’at is at that moment of birth.

Shlomo

When you look closely at one aspect of the Torah reading this week, you find a message that is relevant every day, but only if you want to be charming.

If a someone developed a skin condition, he would go to a priest, not a doctor, for diagnosis. There was a protocol that told him how to check the condition. The priest was told to, “Look…and behold!”The Torah says this 20 times. Why so many times? And since he is already looking, why do we need the word behold?

We look at things all the time, but do we really see them? Not if you just glance, or your mind is somewhere else. The classic example is when Moses saw a bush burning. Then the Torah tells us “Behold! The bush was not consumed.” If Moses had just looked and turned away, he would have missed the whole picture. To behold means to concentrate on what (or who) is in front of you.

The challenge for us is to do this every time we interact with someone. Do we pay attention with our eyes and our ears? Have you been at a party where you were introduced to someone and while you were speaking that person was looking elsewhere? No attention was being paid to you.

A few years ago I was on the phone with my friend David. At one point an e-mail popped up and I was reading while he was talking. David asked “Are you multitasking?” I sheepishly replied, “Yes”. The phone clicked in my ear as he hung up! I sat there stunned, and then realized David had done me a big favor. He dramatically called attention to my rudeness. Since then, whenever I get a phone call, I swivel my chair around to look at the floor so I can concentrate on what the person is saying.

Paying attention fulfills the mitzvah of respecting people. It says” You are worth my time and what you are saying matters.”

Many years ago I read a book written by the daughter of a famous Hollywood star. There is one paragraph I still remember. Talking about the biggest star of her time, she said, “Clark Gable was the most charming person I ever met. When you talked to him, he listened with both ears and both eyes. He made you feel that what you said, no matter how trivial, was the most important thing in the world. Truly, Clark Gable was the most charming person I ever met.”

The numerous repetitions of “Look…and Behold!” teaches all of us how to be charming every day. Move over, Clark. You have company.

This is in memory of my mother whose yartzeit is this Shabbat.