Ever since Babel we have been wondering about ladders and towers that reach the heavens. The first ladder to heaven didn’t turn out very well. The next one, in Jacob’s dream was awesome, but it was only a dream. The actual ladder does not appear until this week’s portion, smack in the middle of a disaster:

“We shall surely ascend!”(Numbers 13:30) “Even were Moshe to command us to build ladders to heaven, we could do it!” (Rashi)

What a moment to speak about our ability to build a ladder to heaven! (Guilty!!!) Would these people, complaining and crying, be any better than those who worked on the Tower of Babel? These people were as confused as anyone since God’s response to Babel. Did Caleb believe that they were capable of repairing one of the most disastrous sins in history?

Yes, Caleb believed that this moment, when everyone was caught up in fear and sin was the perfect moment for them to build Jacob’s ladder.

A person who can catch himself while in the passion of sin and redirect that passion toward God; he can achieve the spectacular. Caleb presented the people with an opportunity for greatness beyond anything they had achieved, including Revelation and building the Mishkan!

That one moment of passionate rebellion against God was an opportunity to build their ladder, Jacob’s ladder, and repair the sin of the Tower of Babel.

Caleb saw the opportunity for greatness, not despite the sin, but in the sin itself!

Imagine what we could accomplish if we used Caleb’s approach with ourselves. What would happen if husbands and wives understood that the moments of passionate arguments are opportunities to build ladders to heaven? How much would change if we responded to children who are labeled “troublemakers” with Caleb’s approach! I think we would succeed in building Jacob’s ladder in real life, not a dream.

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It was Shabbat Shuva, the day after Rosh Hashana, and we didn’t have a minyan. To the best of my recollection, St. Louis and the NY Mets were tied for first place and had to play a game to decide who would be in the pennant. The game wasn’t scheduled to begin until much later, but no one wanted to miss the pre-game show.

The tenth man appeared just as we were ready to say “Borchu,” and we continued as always. Someone came over to me during the Torah reading and said, “Rabbi! About today’s sermon..” I knew exactly what he was going to say (at least, I thought I knew); he wanted me to skip the sermon so he could rush home to watch the show.

I was wrong.

“I only came to hear you speak. I also know that you are upset about the situation, but please remember, we who are here, came. Don’t use your sermon to yell at us!”

How did he know? He was right, so I gave a (very short) speech about properly directing anger.

The attendance at one of my weekly shiurim had been dropping and I openly expressed my disappointment. By the time I arrived home, I had numerous emails from the people who were there apologizing for the poor showing. Why were they apologizing? They were there!

Had Caleb and Joshua taken that approach, they would have felt guilty about the other spies. Did they feel at all responsible for not somehow preempting the situation?

“We shall surely ascend!”(Numbers 13:30) “Even were Moshe to command us to build ladders to heaven, we could do it!” (Rashi) Those are not the words of someone who feels guilty. Rather than guilt, Caleb focused on possibilities and potential.

No wonder the blessings of Teshuva and forgiveness are immediately followed by a request for Redemption. There is no place for guilt, only for ladder building; rising to greater heights!

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He was leaning into his piano as if it were a Gemara (volume of Talmud). He was playing with his entire body, not just his fingers. We would never confuse a jazz pianist with Rubinstein.

The saxophonist had one foot forward and was moving his body back and forth in a slow-motion Karliner shakel. I can’t picture him playing in an orchestra pit.

The trumpet player was shaking his head up and down while listening to the other musicians. He was in a different place when he expanded his cheeks and blew away. No, a jazz musician is very different from a classical performer.

The dance of the music, its flow and creativity, all demand that the musician sink into the music in a manner I’ve never seen in other forms of music. The Jazz musician is usually a “character,” whose formal skills are hidden by his total absorption.

“Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before the entire congregation.” And then, the man who felt so helpless that he fell on his face, stands up to argue with God. One minute, he is falling on his face, overwhelmed by the challenge of the people. The next, he stands with strength and determination before God.

Moshe not only spoke with words; he was the jazz musician, using his body to express his message. The man who had the courage to shatter God’s Luchot (Tablets) did not need to fall on his face because he felt helpless. Moshe Rabbeinu – Our Teacher – lived Torah as the Shira – Song – it is. Everything he did, everything he said and how he said it, was to express the music of the moment; the joy and the devastation, the thrills and the fears, the highs and the lows.

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“If we were logical, we would resign ourselves to the evidence that our fate is beyond human knowledge, that every conjecture is arbitrary and demonstrably devoid of foundation. But men are rarely logical when their own fate is at stake; on every occasion, they prefer the extreme positions. According to our character, some of us are immediately convinced that all is lost, that one cannot live here, that the end is near and sure; others are convinced that however hard the present life may be, salvation is probable and not far off, and if we have faith and strength, we will see our houses and our dear ones again. The two classes of pessimists and optimists are not so clearly defined, however, not because there are many agnostics, but because the majority, without memory or coherence, drift between the two extremes according to the moment and the mood of the person they happen to meet.” (Primo Levi – If This Is a Man)

What Levi described about his bunk mates in Auschwitz is not unfamiliar to us. We see the drift, the Drunkard’s Walk, everywhere in life in the random motion of feelings incessantly bumping, and being bumped by their sister feelings.

If we would mark the inconsistent path of the Children of Israel from the time they left Egypt, and then crossed the Split Sea, complained about water and food, received Manna and Miriam’s Well, complained again, battled Amalek, experienced Revelation, built the Golden Calf and then the Mishkan (Tabernacle), complaining again, repenting, t and on and on, we would see a drunken man’s path through life. They weaved back and forth, up and down, but always moved ahead until…

The spies forgot all the inconsistencies and got stuck believing they were insects. (Fleas On My Mind) The nation went back and forth as a pendulum until they froze in their sense of inadequacy.

What happened? Why were they frightened of their fluctuations only now, as they were about to enter the Land of Israel?

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I can’t catch this tiny thing! The computer screen’s light attracts it and it keeps on flying in front of me, and when I wave it away, it flies near my ear to make a tortuous sound. A tiny bug is proving a greater adversary than some much larger people.

Tiny bugs can be evil. In Balzac’s “Droll Stories” the nuns of the merry monastery of Poissy explain to a naive novice how one must go about telling whether the captured flea is male, female, or virgin, but finding a virgin flea is extremely rare “because these beasts are unmannerly, they are all lascivious sluts, who give themselves to the first comer.”

In the popular mind the flea, as for that matter, in the Talmud and Midrash also the fly, is related to the Devil. In “Faust,” at Auerbach’s inn, Mephistopheles is applauded by everyone when he starts to sing the song of the king who had a huge flea, loved it like a son, kept him as a child, and had a silk and velvet suit cut for him.

The flea is diabolic in its ability to escape capture with a leap so swift that it abruptly eludes the eye and seems to disappear. God may be, ‘inordinately fond of beetles,” (J.B. S. Haldane) but He certainly gifted the tiny flea with great powers.

The spies felt small and insignificant. They contrasted themselves to, “the sons of the giant from among the Nephilim,” (Numbers 13:33) and immediately were deflated into thinking of themselves as insects. They carried super large fruit with them and felt like Gulliver in Brobdingnag. The same man who was a giant in Lilliput was able to adjust to being the size of an insect, but the spies could not handle the adjustment.

Their mistake was not in perceiving themselves as insects, but in refusing to adjust to their new size. We all experience highs and lows. Our encounters with life are inconsistent. We have moments of great accomplishments when we feel like giants, and failures when we feel like insects. We adjust. The spies did not. They refused to adjust, which reflected a total lack of understanding all they had experienced thus far.

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I was all of 16 years old, and was quite confused. I had serious questions about how people use Judaism to relate to God, and I was asked to meet once a week with public school students and answer their questions.

It was pouring that night in Santa Clara, as I sat in a car with Rabbi Daniel Lapin, an extraordinary man from a truly great family. “I don’t want to be a hypocrite,” I complained.

“Simcha,” Rabbi Lapin said, “One of the most important and practical lessons I can offer is that there is a difference between inconsistency and hypocrisy. A hypocrite will teach something he believes is false. Someone who teaches something he believes even while having difficulty always living according to those beliefs, is inconsistent, and definitely not a hypocrite.”

“Do you believe that it is wrong to speak negatively about others?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are there times when you speak Lishon Harah?”

“Yes.”

“Are you a hypocrite or are you inconsistent?”

Thank you, Rabbi Lapin, for a lesson I use every day of my life.

When the ten spies spoke Lishon Harah about the Land of Israel, were they hypocrites, or, simply inconsistent?

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He listened to, but did not participate in the ongoing conversations around Miriam’s Well in the days that followed their devastating punishment for their reaction to the spies. People were frustrated, depressed and angry. “I don’t want to live out the rest of my life in a tent in the desert.” “The only reason I could bear this camp was that I knew that we would soon enter the Land of Israel. Now I’m stuck.” “We never should have asked Moshe to send spies.” “He shouldn’t have listened to us!” Bitterness oozed from every word of every conversation.

He realized that there was also terrible confusion. Many people felt that they had lost everything. They had shattered their covenant with God. They were so devastated by their sense of failure that they believed that the Torah laws no longer applied.

He wanted to do something to reconnect them with whatever remained of their accomplishments, so, he decided to publicly violate the Shabbat. “And the Children of Israel were in the desert and they found a man gathering wood on the Shabbat day. Those who found him, brought him close to Moshe and Aaron and to the entire assembly, and they placed him in a guarded place for it had not been explained what they should do.” (Numbers 15:32-34)

“Those who found him,” wanted him jailed. They did not want anyone to violate their Shabbat by violating his! They did not “bring him close” for judgment; if that was their purpose, they only had to bring him to court, not to Moshe, not to Aaron, and certailnly not the entire assembly!

Something happened when they saw a man publicly breaking the Shabbat laws. They felt violated. They wanted him placed where he could not damage their Shabbat. Their response was to fight for Shabbat, for their Shabbat. Their connection with God’s laws was strong. Our “hero,” achieved his purpose.

He violated Shabbat in order to convince people that despite their terrible failures, the Torah lived. (Targum Yonatan ben Uziel 15:32) He was misguided, but also well-intentioned.

He sat in his cell, the only one in the camp, when the bars were opened and another man was violently tossed inside. (Ba’al HaTurim, Numbers 15:31) “Wow,” he thought, “I wasn’t the only one with the crazy idea!”

“Shalom Aleichem, Reb Yid,” he said as he extended his hand in greeting. “@#&*^%$!!!” was the man’s response.

“Why are you here?” he persisted.

“@#&*^%$!!!”

“What’s the matter with you?”

“That’s why I’m here: I said that about G-d.”

Our hero started banging his cup against the jail bars. “Let me out! I don’t belong in the same cell as this man. I was well-intentioned! Help! How could you put us both into the same jail cell?”

He fell to the ground, sobbing. He could not believe that people thought of him as no better than his cell mate. He was so upset that the jailer asked Moshe to send a psychiatrist to calm the prisoner. Moshe sent a rabbi, Yonatan ben Uziel, rather than a doctor.

“Rabbi! Rabbi! I don’t belong here with a sinner. I’m a Tzaddik! I sinned with only good intentions!”

Rabbi ben Uziel smiled. Even the flames that extended up from around his head seemed to offer warmth and understanding. “We know exactly why you did what you did. Your intentions were different, but your actions were just as evil. Why did you not choose a different way to prove your point? Why did you not ask your rabbi for advice? Why did you make such a major decision on your own?”

He didn’t know how to answer Rabbi ben Uziel.

The great rabbi reached out and held the man’s hands in his own. “You took a terrible risk. You played with the laws of Shabbat. It is especially when you play with fire that everything must be consistent between your actions and intentions. Just look at what happened to the ten spies.”

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In honor of my brother-in-law, Miguel Banet, who works so hard to keep me consistent: In his “Memoirs,” Andrei Sakaharov cites the great Polish philosopher, Leszek Kolakowski, who wrote, “Inconsistency is simply a secret awareness of the contradictions of the world, a permanent feeling of possible personal error, or if not that, then the possibility that one’s antagonist is right.” Sakharov agrees with this limitation to belief, but adds “my only quarrel is with the word ‘inconsistency,’ which I would replace with one that conveys my belief that intellectual growth and social awareness should combine dynamic self-criticisms and a set of stable values.”

Kolakowski believes that awareness of possible error leads to inconsistency. I guess that you can’t possibly write, “Towards a Marxist Humanism,” without being aware that you are inconsistent.

Life experience has proven Kolakowski’s definition of inconsistency. Talmud study supports Sakharov:

It’s not difficult to meet people who are absolutely convinced of the truth of their beliefs. Religious leaders of all faiths are quick to condemn those who disagree. I once spoke before a gathering of rabbis and quoted a Midrash which made them slightly uncomfortable. Expecting a negative reaction, I brought a copy of the text with me.

As I returned to my seat, one rabbi yelled out, “There is no such Midrash!” I offered to show the text to him and he refused to look. “It doesn’t exist.” The Midrash clearly contradicted one of his most closely held beliefs, indicated that he was in error, or at least that his antagonist, me, was right. He could not look. He, a wonderful and usually quite reasonable fellow, faced the world relying on his rock solid beliefs. He waged a fierce war against anything inconsistent with his convictions, and, I suspect, feared internal inconsistency.

I must say that I found the entire story to be ironic: This rabbi is an “expert” in the laws of interpersonal relationships, and yet his fear of inconsistency caused him to behave in a manner totally inconsistent with his teachings!

I heard a “prominent” rabbi speak at the funeral of a 40 year old man, known for his generosity, religious commitment, and incredible hours of study. He said to the man’s orphans, “Your father’s life proves that God protects people who are charitable, observant and study Torah. If you emulate him, God will grant you a long life.” I was shocked: His words directly contradicted the facts of the funeral at which he spoke. The man died at a very young age. God did not grant him a long life.

The children were dumbfounded. They were confused. The audience, however, loved it. It seemed that everyone was so fearful of any contradiction or inconsistency in their beliefs that they were incapable of thinking through what the rabbi had said.

As I said, my life experiences have proven Kolakowski’s definition of inconsistency. The Talmud is an adventure in dynamic self-criticism and respect for the opinions of those who disagree combined with stable values. The Sages of the Mishna and Talmud are unconcerned that their willingness to listen to their antagonists will lead to inconsistency. Contradictions are meant to be resolved, not feared. A different view is an opportunity to gain a fresh perspective, and will always lead to the refinement of ideas and ideals. The Mishna and Talmud are never inconsistent. They laugh at the suggestion that an honest look in the mirror may lead to inconsistency.

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Teresa of Avila mentions in her dramatic autobiography that her prayers were continuously interrupted by the Devil and her serious thought was replaced by nonsense. (Me too) She also endowed Satan with bad temper and false humility. At one point Satan visited her, and Teresa described him vividly:

“A great flame seemed to issue from his body, which was intensely bright and cast no shadow. He said to me in a dreadful voice that I had indeed escaped his clutches, but that he would capture me still.”

Seems to me that there ain’t no one more in the Devil’s clutches than someone convinced that she has escaped!

I have difficulty picturing the ten spies admitting, while sinning, that they made their disheartening proclamations about the Land of Israel because they were in the clutches of the Devil. Perhaps if Teresa’s description of a great flame and dreadful voice was accurate, they would have had more of a chance to escape his clutches.

No, my personal devil, whom I have named Rembrandt (different story), does not appear with flames, nor speak in a dreadful voice. He usually presents himself as quite a reasonable, handsome, friendly, and non-threatening fellow. I don’t know how he does it, but even when I have lost my temper and know that I’m not in total control, I will hear him say, “You have escaped my clutches! Ha!”

It’s not the Teresa’s fiery Devil that scares me. It’s the calm, oleaginous, supportive devil who terrifies me! As long as we picture the Devil, or Satan, as did Teresa, we will never learn how to protect ourselves.

I see the key to dealing with the suave devil in Tzitzit…

To Be Continued

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“They awoke early in the morning and ascended toward the mountaintop saying, ‘We are ready, and we shall ascend to the place of which God has spoken, for we have sinned.” (Numbers 14:40)

These people realized that they had sinned against God. They understood that they had allowed their fears to overwhelm them and they announced that they were ready to move ahead and fight with courage to enter the Land of Israel. Isn’t that what God wanted?

The process of conquering the Land of Canaan was to be a lesson in balancing human effort and relying on Divine help. These people announced their readiness to move ahead.

Where was their mistake?

“For we have sinned,” was their mistake. They did not say, “For we have learned our lesson.” They did not say, “We are ready to assume our responsibilities.” They simply wanted to repair a mistake.

How often do we realize that we have made a mistake and focus on repairing the error, rather than applying the lesson learned?

We make a mistake when we think of Teshuva as fixing our mistakes, rather than repairing our relationship with God. No wonder Moshe said, “It will not succeed!”

Success does not come from focusing on fixing mistakes, but from applying the lessons.

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Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.