I have driven through these suburbs of Copenhagen and I had no idea that there was such a pattern to the streets and homes. I didn’t have the perspective of this aerial photograph, and couldn’t see the broader picture.

It’s not much different from the way we perceive most of the situations in our lives. We see things from our perspective, often forgetting that there are numerous views of the same situation.

The Netziv (Ha’amak Davar, Genesis 45:5) points out that even after the brothers saw Joseph as the viceroy of Egypt, able to save his entire family, they refused to accept that they had been wrong to sell him! They believed that they were right all along, even in choosing to sell him as they did, because their actions led to his rise to greatness. Even when they had “perspective,” they could not see themselves clearly. They needed to fly up in a helicopter and photograph a bird’s eye view of history to gain true perspective.

I often see how all of us become so caught up in a situation, that we lose perspective. We remain stuck in the way we perceive a conversation or event, and have difficulty repairing relationships with someone who has a different perspective. It’s even more frightening to me when I, or someone else, is willing to be open to a different perspective, but lack the bird’s eye view of the story.

Rosh Hashanah is a perfect opportunity to gain real perspective: When we examine the past year through God’s perspective, we will be able to see the patterns in our behaviors. We will see both the beautiful and the ugly perspectives that we so often miss.

Zichronot connects us to our entire history, stretching back to the first moments of Creation. It offers us the opportunity to fly up in the air and see the much broader picture, often one of great beauty and surprise.

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My friend came to visit from Florida, and rented a bright yellow Camaro. He claims that it was the only car available, but we know the truth. Little did I know how much I would benefit from his rental car:

A stranger stopped me in front of my house, and said, “I understand that you are the most unusual Rabbi. May I ask you some questions?”

“You may ask away. I’m not sure that I am all that unusual.”

“Well, one of your neighbors told me, ‘You must meet my rabbi; he’s the only rabbi I know who drives a bright yellow Camaro!’ So, here I am.”

I spent the next thirty minutes answering a series of profound questions, and made a new friend in the process, all because of Alan’s Camaro.

It’s amazing how simple occurrences can have significant consequences. I realized that I am so wrapped up in evaluating the past year that I have focused only on the big things, and have forgotten the many smaller moments, many of which were as important, if not more, than the big events.

I have decided to take three days to focus on the Camaro events of the past year, so as to remember the significance of even the small, seemingly less important moments. I want to begin treating them with the same respect and attention as I do to the big events. Who knows which will end up being the more important?

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Let us keep in mind what Thrasea, the mildest of men and for that reason also the greatest, often used to say: “Who hates faults, hates mankind.”

- Pliny the Younger, Letters 8.22.2-3

Especially our own faults!

I picture the moment when Chana stoop up to Eli, and defended herself from his confused accusations, as the moment when she stopped hating her failings, and ceased to hate herself.

Her prayers were heard only once she stopped hating herself.

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Checkerboard pieces are indifferent. Dice are indifferent. How do I know in what way they will fall? But once the dice have fallen, to use that cast carefully and skillfully –that is indeed my business.

So also in life, the central task is this: distinguish things, stand them apart, and say, “externals are not in my power; the ability to choose is in my power. Where shall I search after the good and the bad? Within, in what belongs to me.”

But in what is foreign to you, never call anything either good or bad, or profit or loss, or anything like that.

- Epictetus, Discourses 2.5.3-5

“And so, too, the righteous will see and be glad, the upright will exult, and the devout will be mirthful with glad song. Iniquity will close its mouth and all wickedness will evaporate like smoke, when You will remove evil’s domination from the earth.”

The paragraph’s final phrase implies that there are different stages in the end of evil: 1) “You will remove evil’s domination from the earth,” 2) “Iniquity will close its mouth,” and, 3) “Wickedness will evaporate like smoke.” What are the three stages?

1) “When You will remove evil’s domination,” begins when we can recognize that evil is foreign to us: “But in what is foreign to you, never call anything either good or bad, or profit or loss, or anything like that.” We do not need to declare something as evil, but as foreign, not pertinent or meaningful.

We define one of the three major evils as Avodah Zarah, or, worship which is strange to us. Evil’s domination begins with distraction. The Evil Inclination wants us to search out the unnecessary and unimportant so that we lose perspective, and cannot focus on what is important for us.

The moment we realize that its temptations are foreign, we have ended its domination, but not it’s power.

2) “Iniquity will close its mouth,” when we stop paying attention to all of the Evil Inclination’s “well-meaning” seductions. We only stop listening when we realize that the Yetzer Harah is indifferent to us. It doesn’t care about us. It cares for us no more than does a checkerboard piece or dice: “Checkerboard pieces are indifferent. Dice are indifferent.”

3) “And all wickedness will evaporate like smoke,” when we realize that, “I have the internal power to choose. I am responsible for my choices. My work must begin within me.” Evil will disappear when we say, “So also in life, the central task is this: distinguish things, stand them apart, and say, “externals are not in my power; the ability to choose is in my power. Where shall I search after the good and the bad? Within, in what belongs to me.”

The last time I can recall being looked at with such an unbearable hatred was when a gang of Muslims sent two dogs after me in Cologne, Germany, yelling, “Raus, Juden!” That is, until early this morning as Debbie and I were waiting in line at the security checkpoint in Newark Airport.”

The intense emotions immediately began to define my mood. I was angry, resentful and shaken. I personalized the experience and in doing so gave it dominion over me. I turned to the man who was still behind me in line, continuing to stare at me with pure hate, and laughed. I immediately regained control over my mood.

I wondered whether the man was still trying to drill holes in my back with the hatred in his eyes, so I turned around. The minute he saw that I didn’t care, he forgot about me. He was as indifferent as a checkerboard piece or dice. He only cared as long as I gave him the power to bother me..

The entire episode was an internal process. I quickly realized that I had chosen how to react from beginning to end.

How many of the issues I allow to fester in my gut are exactly the same; external, indifferent distractions from assuming Responsibility for my internal process?

How many of my desires for things I don’t need, things that can be dangerous to me, share those same qualities?

I find it interesting that this paragraph of the Rosh Hashanah Amidah begins, “”And so, too, the righteous will see and be glad, the upright will exult, and the devout will be mirthful with glad song.” The clarity necessary to fight the ether Harah, and for the victory that ensues, can only begin when we have found joy in our service of God.

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The preacher Harry Williams believed:

“We all have experience of two types of feeling. There is the feeling which unites us to our world and makes us rejoice in it, an experience of love, of acceptance, of communion. And there is the other kind of feeling which separates us from our world and makes us hate it, an experience of fear, of exile, of discord.

The first of these feelings belongs more truly to us than the second. We are profoundly satisfied by love and communion. We are exasperated by exile and hatred…

The difference between these two types of feeling is the difference between good and evil and evil is secondary, existing not in its own right but as thwarted goodness. ”

I observed people while waiting to be called for my flight. Some people, the ones my wife calls, “All American,” as praise, are warm and social. They are comfortable initiating conversation, sharing life information, and casually laughing and teasing. They are “Connectors,” who lived the “United,” in the U.S.

Then there are the others who, not because they are shy or withdrawn, keep others at a distance. They prefer separation to connection.

When we articulate the Rosh Hashanah version of the world, we speak of unity and connection. We believe tat unity is the natural state.

It’s worthwhile to include some reflection on whether we are primarily connectors or distancers in our Teshuva process. We must first understand and desire to be connectors before we can say, “And they will form on tightly bound group to do Your will with a full heart.” If we are distancers we will never be able to join with a full heart. Saying these words will only distance us from ourselves.

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There is always a moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in…

– Graham Greene: The Power and the Glory

As wonderful as my children are, the only time they were perfect was the first time I held them in my arms. It was before they ever woke me up. It was before they ever cried and cried without telling me what was wrong. It was before they ever misbehaved. They were perfect that first moment, never since.

Rosh Hashanah is the parallel moment, when we can reconnect to that moment when we were just perfect, and our parents held us with pure joy, filled with dreams.

My childhood dreams had a magical quality that is usually missing from my current dreams: they were more perfect. There was no doubt or hesitation. Nothing was impossible.

They had another quality that is often absent from my more “mature” dreams; they always had that sense, described by Greene as “letting the future in,” not opening the door so that I could step forward into the future. I was waiting for the future to come to me. These days, I wait for the doors to the future to open for me to step through.

What’s the difference?

It is the difference between Yishmael and Yitzchak: Yishmael is the archer, or hunter, looking beyond what he has to what he imagines, the 72 virgins that speak of a better afterlife. Yitzchak rejoices in every moment as it happens filled with promise and potential. He sees the future as part of what he currently has, not a fantasy that will never be anything more than unfulfilled.

Rosh Hashanah is that perfect childhood moment when we can allow the future to come to us, to empower our present, to energize what we are currently doing. We are not waiting for the coming year to happen. We are creating the coming year in this moment.

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A group of Jewish children with a teacher in Samarkand, (in modern Uzbekistan), ca. 1910. (Prokudin-Gorskii Collection/LOC)

My Cheder teachers dressed differently, but they look very similar to the rabbi in this picture. Dress up the children in a 1960’s wardrobe, and they will look just like the kids with whom I went to school.

We study the same texts. We teach the same observances. We could travel back in time and feel perfectly comfortable at a Shabbat table or synagogue service, in 1910 Samarkand, Uzbekistan. The people in the photograph are very much still alive in so many ways.

I can’t begin to count how many times a day I feel that many people who have passed on from this world are still alive. I can’t say the Grace After Meals without thinking of how my grandfather would take a lifetime concentrating on each word. He is constantly pushing me now, as much as he did when a physical presence, to review my studies, review again, and then, again. He speaks to me each time I open a Holy book I once studied with him. My father is a living presence as well. He challenges me to think, to carefully read the text, to conceptualize, to articulate clear principles, and to pay careful attention to every word I speak, every action and every thought. He taught me that Maimonides’ voice is as alive now as it was almost 900 years ago.

My rebbi from 1967, Rabbi Wurzberger zt”l, who died in middle of the school year, is a live presence when I read Rashi’s commentary on the Talmud. He taught me to feel that Rashi’s voice is alive.

Mr Epstein z”l, who took over for Rabbi Wurzberger, and died the same year, reminds me every time I begin to pray that I must stand with respect for a private audience with the King.

The list goes on and on. I live Zichronot all year. The voices of the past are alive and vibrant.

Something changes during Zichronot on Rosh Hashanah; I feel as if I am able to speak back to all those voices who give me life during the year. I am able to say, “Look what I am doing with what you taught!” “See that I connect with you across time!” I complete the circuit, and find an entirely new level of meaning in my life.

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A more earthbound version of the Devil appears in Dostoevsky’sThe Brothers Karamazov. His character Ivan had a very strong sense of the earth’s evil. Unable to bear the thought of being his father’s murderer, he is overtaken by a bout of fever. In his delirium Ivan meets the Devil in person:

“He was a gentleman, or rather a peculiarly Russian sort of gentleman, qui frisat la cinquantaine, going a little gray, with long thick hair and a pointed beard. He was wearing a brown jacket, well cut enough but already rather the worse for wear, at least three years old and thus completely out of fashion.

His linen and his long cravat all spoke of the well-dressed man, but on closer inspection the linen revealed itself as of a dubious cleanliness, and the cravat as much soiled. His check trousers sat well on him, but they were too light and too close-fitting – the sort nobody wears nowadays; his hat was a white felt one, quite out of keeping with the season. In short, a dandy fallen on bad times.

He looked like one of those landed proprietors who flourished during the days of serfdom; he had lived in good society, but bit by bit, impoverished by his youthful dissipations and the recent abolition of serfdom, he had become a sort of high-class sponger, admitted into the society of his former acquaintances because of his pliable disposition, as a man one need not be ashamed to know, whom one can invite to meet anybody, only fairly far down the table.”

He is unable to bear the thought of being his father’s murderer, and Ivan pictures the devil as faded gentleman, comfortable to invite to any celebration, as long as he sits “fairly far down the table!” I would imagine the devil who can seduce a son to kill his father as powerful, seductive, wealthy, attractive, but certainly not comfortable!

I think of the devil who pushed Peninah to use her religion and connection with God to do anything at all to get Chanah to pray for a child, even verbal torture, as the comfortable fellow in Ivan’s dream. It is the Yetzer Harah of comfortable beliefs practiced without thinking in ways that can hurt others almost kill!

I was sitting in synagogue and overheard someone say to a rabbi, “I really need to speak to you?”

“Why?”

“I love you and respect you and may have done an indirect wrong. Please, please, can I talk to you?”

“Don’t worry, I forgive you,” and he walked away. His student was heartbroken.

The rabbi had an opportunity to teach and heal. His comfortable belief that we should all be naturally forgiving, hurt his student. The student was so hurt that he has not spoken to the rabbi in three years. The faded but comfortable devil stood at a safe distance and smiled.

Sarah observed Hagar’s “laughing,” and the Midrash seems to take that laugh on a roller-coaster of sins, from idol worship to adultery and murder. The Sages understood that the most dangerous devil is in the comfortable laugh, who doesn’t frighten us, in faded glory, and sitting at a distance. Long before Dostoyevsky, the Sages understood that the Devil who can convince Ivan to murder his own father, only gets a chuckle from us when we see him.

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Some people laugh and enjoy my Curious George t-shirt while others think it looks ridiculous. I don’t care. I am wearing it on my morning walks to help me prepare for Rosh Hashana.

The Curious George books did not hold my attention for too long when I was very young. A student in my father’s yeshiva in Toronto, who now heads his own yeshiva, gave me a stuffed Curious George monkey when I turned four years old. I loved it. It made me feel that perhaps I really was a normal kid. I took it with me everywhere except to synagogue. My father didn’t think it was appropriate.

One morning, while I was praying, a career criminal in a clear crime wave stole my Curious George. I should have taken him into synagogue with me in order to protect him from such violent criminals. (Do you see what happens when you don’t go to synagogue?) My world of innocence was shattered. It was difficult to fathom that such evil existed in the world. It may have been possible in New York, but certainly not in Toronto, and unquestionably not in a Yeshiva! The world lost much of its purity on that morning. I had failed where the Man in the Yellow Hat never had; I wasn’t able to rescue Curious George.

My sister-in-law heard the story and bought a Curious George t-shirt for me as a 48th birthday gift. The shirt makes me feel just as I did 46 years ago. It may not be as mushy and squeezable as my stuffed toy, but it certainly brings back the memories. I can’t reclaim the innocence but it is joyous and soothing to recall those feelings of a world in which people do not steal Curious George toys.

Those recalled feelings of innocence and purity are what help me prepare for Rosh Hashana – the birthday of Adam. There is no innocence as perfect as that of a newborn baby. He or she has yet to wake you in middle of the night. You haven’t even changed a single diaper. Everything is perfect. The parents focus only on their dreams for their perfect child. They conveniently ignore that one day, this absolutely innocent and pure baby will become a human being.

That is exactly how I imagine God’s perspective of me on Rosh Hashana: a perfectly pure and innocent newborn, focusing on all His dreams for me. Even if it’s only for a moment or two, it is great to reconnect to that absolute innocence and remember that it is still alive somewhere inside of me.

Curious George now comes to synagogue with me. Not the doll, and certainly not the t-shirt, but in that warm and fuzzy feeling of innocence that changes the way I see the world and myself.

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“For the ways of God are straight.” (Hosea 14:10) the Shelah HaKodesh (Torah Ohr – Rosh Hashanah 3) asks why the word “straight” is in the plural form in Hebrew, “Yesharim,” rather than “Yashar.”

The Shelah answers that Hosea is describing two different creations of “Straight:” the first is that God creates us straight. We begin life with a tabula rasa, clean and pure. There is a second creation of Yashar, that when we do Teshuva, we can regain that perfect straightness.

I prefer the second Yashar to the first; I revel in the gift of being able to access the straightness that follows Teshuva, the restored bar, without dents or scars from its bend and repair. I love the sense of the Yashar that is always available, not just something that I once had.

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