Whether it is Katherine Boo’s, “behind beautiful forevers,” Shilpi Somaya Gowda’s, “Secret Daughter,” or Lloyd Jones’ “Hand Me Down Forever,” stories of the poor in Asia describe people striving for a better life in the midst of unimaginable cruelty to each other, to their children, to themselves; lives filled with crime just to survive.

I wonder how the Children of Israel survived their slavery in Egypt.  Did they strive to escape their makeshift settlements to live near the skyscraping Pyramids? Did they dream of lounging at moonlight cocktail parties under the Sphinx? Did they form a hierarchy of people with connections who could help them get access to the Cairo Utilities Department? Did fathers murder babies who would drain the family’s finances? Did they steal from each other? Did they fight each other for scraps of food?

We know that this is what desperately poor people are doing in the 21st century; what happened in Egypt more than 3,000 years ago? I wonder.

The Sages are convinced that the Egyptian slaves never fell this low; but how do they know? Is there a hint in the text to indicate that they maintained their humanity?

Do we mention this aspect of their dignity in the Haggadah?

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Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

He is a great friend and neighbor. He is well-read, intelligent, insightful, and generous. So, when Debbie and I were stuck in Brooklyn and needed something from the house, we called him for help. The problem was that he didn’t (pretended to not) have a key. We needed a cat burglar, not a scholar teacher. No problem; our good guy neighbor is a skilled thief. You never know.

Andy is proud of his criminal skills, and prefers that I not mention that he has a back-up key to our home and the alarm code. He wants to be known as a thief. I’ll leave that to his wife, a prominent psychiatrist.

I am confident in stating that Andy never stole anything in his life, but that still does not clear him of suspicion.  Abraham was not satisfied in never having robbed anyone; it takes more to be cleared of all potential criminal charges.

“So the man entered the house, and unmuzzled the camels.” Rashi points out that if the Torah informs us of such a seemingly insignificant detail, it must be of supreme importance: “Abraham’s livestock were muzzled whenever they were away from home, so that they could not graze in other people’s fields.” Impressive behavior, but still unnecessary for the Torah to tell us as we already learned that, “Lot’s dishonest shepherds grazed their flocks on other people’s pastures. When Abraham’s shepherds rebuked them for stealing, they found a way to justify their actions.” (Rashi, Genesis 13:7) The Torah already taught us about the extreme care Abraham took to prevent even his animals from stealing. Why was it necessary to repeat as part of the Eliezer in the house of Laban story?

It is not enough to not steal, especially when dealing with Labans, or people such as Andy the Thief with dark secrets. In such situations we must go beyond normal care, to extremes, such as muzzling the camels as a sign that even our animals will not steal.

It is not enough to avoid conflict, or to simply stay away from arguments when we find ourselves in a conflict ridden environment.  We have to go to the opposite extreme in such situations, and work assiduously for peace.

Does this mean that we, who live in a promiscuous environment, should insist that women should dress in burkhas?

We are taught that Rebecca lived in such an environment, and yet, it is only at the moment when she meets Isaac that, “She then took the veil and covered herself.” (24:65) She did not wear her veil at home, in Aram Naharaim, a place without morals; she covered herself only when meeting her husband! Should she not have worn a veil while in Laban’s home to make a statement similar to Abraham’s with his muzzled camels?

There is a difference between a statement of honesty to one of modesty: Abraham signaled to the world that they were safe with him. He was not a threat. He would not take anything from them no matter how innocent or insignificant.  Abraham’s statement may have had a message of rebuke, but it was not a challenge. However, modesty is not an external statement, but an expression of internal dignity.  Rebecca’s veil would be meaningless to anyone other than an Isaac who would honor her dignity. A veil would only be a challenge to a society in which people feel entitled to grab what they want, no matter the feelings, morals, or desires of the victim.

There is a difference between a statement of modesty to a world that honors such statements and one to a world that ridicules such values. A veil in Aram Naharaim would have been a joke. Rebecca would have had to constantly go to further extremes to make her statement. She would have been living in a constant battle against her world, rather than fighting for her own dignity.

Ironically, the most important place to make a statement of internal dignity is only in an environment that would honor and respect such a statement. This is not to say that modesty and internal dignity are of supreme importance in a hostile environment. It is to say that modesty and dignity cannot be an expression of battle against society. It is an internal process of nurturing dignity; not a statement against the world.

I think of the new law in France against Burkhas, and think of a society that perceives the veil as a provocation.

I then think of a stranger in an elevator, remarking after a group of Satmar women exited, “Those women are beyond me. They are untouchable.” He noticed the look on my face and added, “I meant that as a compliment. They have something other women do not.”

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Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

“Distinctive in the councils is her husband, when he sits with the elders of the land.”

Clearly, the Midrash credits the accomplishments of the great men of the bible to their wives. However, not every husband merits or deserves to sit among the elders of the land. Is the Woman of Valor defined by her husband’s position in the community?

The Midrash sees God bringing honor and dignity to the elders of the land: “Rabbi Avin said, ‘In the future, the Holy One, Blessed is He, will set up the elders of Israel in a semicircle, and He Himself will sit at the head of all of them.’ King Solomon said, ‘I saw Him sitting with them and judging with them, as it is stated, ‘Her husband is well-known at the gates, as he sits among the elders of the land.” (Tanchuma, Shemot #29)

The Woman of Valor raises her husband’s dignity, not only by virtue of her accomplishments and bearings, but by constantly treating him with dignity for who he really is.

I recall meeting the newly engaged bride of one of my father zt”l’s students, someone not known for his great scholarship or accomplishments. “You can ask my future husband any question and he’ll be able to answer you,” she said. I was about to accept her dare when I noticed the look on my father’s face, and chose to behave politely. I later asked my father what would happen when she found out that her husband was not the great scholar she believed. “Every spouse has to identify what makes their spouse special, and honor him or her for that quality. Either she will be more generous than you and see what makes him unique, or she’ll be sorely disappointed.”

Project Dignity must be part of every marriage. We have to identify the best qualities in the other and dignify them for who and what they really are.

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Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

Pythagorus had a lot of influence for a man who probably never existed. The Pythagoreans invented their founder, including the manner of his death. Pyhthagoras had a strong revulsion to beans. He would definitely never have eaten Shabbat afternoon Cholent, and not because of its natural effects on the stomach, but because beans are not Tznius – not appropriate for a modest person: (Please do not read on if you are sensitive.) Bean may have been an Egyptian slang word for testicle. The Christian Bishop Hippolytus, in his Refutation of All Heresies (especially thefoundationstone.org) wrote that if beans are chewed and then left in the sun, they emit the smell of semen. Very not Tznius! There’s more! If one takes the bean in flower and buries it in the earth and, in a few days, digs it up: “It will have the appearance of something immodest.”

It seems that Pythagoras was very strict about Tznius: When running from the Syracusans during the war with Arigentum, he escaped because his followers formed a bridge over a fire with their bodies, only to be caught because he would not escape through a field of beans: not tznius! That’s commitment.

Even the great philosophers, if they truly existed, had their foibles.

Lately, I have been wondering if the manner in which we teach Tznius has become one of the foibles of certain religious communities.

I repeat: “The manner in which we teach the laws of Tznius.” I do not mean the laws of personal dignity.

If a teacher publicly humiliates a young girl for wearing a school uniform that is too tight; is she not stuck at Pythagoras’ field of beans? Is it Tznius – modesty to most – dignity to me – to humiliate someone? Did the “laws” of Tznius not just override the biblical commandments to love others, to rebuke in an effective manner, to not embarrass someone, to copy the ways of God in personal attributes, to avoid arrogance and numerous others? Is that public rebuke not a tergiversation (I wanted to use a word I learned today – not too modest, but hopefully dignified,) of all the lessons of Jewish law and thought?

I open this “blog” to you: How do you suggest we teach the concept of Tznius and its laws?

Please allow me one more reflection on this topic: I met a non-observant man this week who commented that he never understood the concept of Kedusha – Holiness – until he met a group of Satmar women. He used to laugh at their hats and dress. After one conversation he understood the concept of Holiness at least he sensed it. These were women who were untouchable simply by virtue of who they are as human beings. I can picture Reb Yoelish zt”l smiling with great pride.

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Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.