All the Mitzvot in the Torah were designed as an expression of the Ultimate Will and Infinite Wisdom. They are all beyond human ken and understanding.

However, there is one category of laws called “Chok” which are blatantly beyond any human understanding.

Parah Adumah is the paradigm of Chok. We cannot understand how a Red Cow can bring purity. We cannot understand why the Cohen who purifies becomes impure.

A Chok changes us; it forces us to confront the fact that we cannot understand. The Chok reminds us that we of finite mind and understanding cannot begin to comprehend the Infinite Will and Wisdom of the Creator.

The Chok does more: Each time we observe a Chok, whether it is the separation of milk and meat, or wool from linen, or a Red Cow, we are observing with a sense that what we do matters in ways that are beyond us. The Chok teaches us that we cannot fully appreciate the power and implications of our actions.

The Chok nurtures a Sixth Sense in us, a sense that we can use with each Mitzvah we observe, the sense that what we are doing attaches us to the Infinite. The Chok can transform all we do.

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I had a strange experience today as I was hooked up to my IV. I closed my eyes to rest and listened to the pumping action of the IV, which usually helps me fall asleep. This time my mind played a powerful trick on me. As all the medications began to take effect and I fell into a deep and relaxed state, I felt as if I was back in the Medizinshe Hochshule Hannover in Germany, listening to the same sound of a machine pumping all sorts of things into me to keep me alive. All the fears, pain, loneliness, and frustration came back with a bang.

I had successfully repressed all those feelings while in Germany simply to keep my spirits up and maintain whatever I joy I could find in my existence. I was so successful at repressing those negative feelings that I have never thought about them until today. They were intense, almost overpowering.

How should I deal with all the repressed feelings of so long ago?

“Then any of the diseases that I placed in Egypt, I will not bring upon you, for I am God, your healer.” (Exodus 15:26) We understand that ‘diseases placed on Egypt ‘ as the plagues, but perhaps there is an additional meaning.

The Children of Israel suffered through many years of horror. Perhaps, they too, as did I, repressed the worst parts as their coping mechanism. If they looked back with fondness at any time in their recent history in Egypt, they were repressing memories. The repressed memories, not matter how well hidden, are diseases that can eat away at us. They are diseases which disconnect us from ourselves and prevent us from developing real relationships.

God was also referring to those diseased memories, promising His people a life in which they would not have to repress painful experiences. Once they learned to live without repressing the negative, the past would reappear, and God promises, “I am God, your Healer,” Who will heal those memories.

Marah was not only a bitter tree (Mechilta) that made the water sweet, it was also a promise, that God would sweeten those memories and turn them into something good, just as He did for me today, when he used those memories to offer another way read these verses.

This has transformed my recitation of the 8th blessing of the Amidah: Refaeinu – Heal Us. The bitter has become sweet.

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He shaved a nanosecond off one note and added it to the next. This underhanded form of theft, known as rubato, is one way that soloists personalize a piece of music. It is a liberty taken with the composer’s text. He stopped time in its tracks, restored our dreams of youth, and defied the march of death.

Moshe added one day to the preparation of the Children of Israel for Sinai. “Let them be prepared for the third day,” (Exodus 19:11) said God. Moshe said, “Be prepared after a three day period.” (Verse 15) Moshe, who stood between God and Israel to prepare them for Revelation, delayed the music for one extra day. He wanted them to experience the period of preparation and sanctification as a time of its own, not only as preparing for what would follow, but precious in and of itself.

He stole a day from a world transformed by Revelation in order to teach us that preparation is valuable for itself. This world is a world of preparation. Moshe did not want us to only “prepare for,” he wanted us to steal the moments of preparation, stop the march of time just enough for us to revel in the preparation as special.

Moshe wanted us to love the opportunities of preparation. He wanted us to love this stage for itself, not only for what will follow.

What compelled Moshe to steal that moment? He was attempting to rectify the damage caused by the “Adder,” Yitro, who added moments, but robbed us of time.

“Because the people come to me to seek the Lord. When they have a matter, one comes to me, and I judge between a man and his fellow, and I make known the decrees of God and His teaching.” (18:15-16) But the “Adder” only heard the latter half of Moshe’s statement. He responded to people who came for judgment. He ignored “Because the people come to me to seek the Lord.”

Moshe knew that people were waiting. He also understood that when someone spends hours in order to seek God, every second is precious. Yitro focused on the “for,” for what were they waiting. Moshe treasured each second they spent with the expectation of finding God.

The “Adder” won the people over. Moshe withheld his frustration for forty years until his farewell speech. He did not criticize the people, but he offered them a new way to learn the value of the “wait.”

He shaved time off the World of Revelation, and added it to the World of Preparation, our world, our lives, our work, and our gift.

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One of the most constant refrains I hear from people is, “I should…” or, “I should have…”

All those “shoulds” are heavy burdens. “I should be more patient.” “I should be more of a Tzaddik.” “I should daven better.” “I should be more careful with my speech.”

The “should haves” are even worse: “I should have said…” I should have controlled my anger.” “I should have done better.” Guess what, it’s too late. “Should haves” are meaningless but heavy burdens to shoulder.

I prefer the “I could,” or “I could have,” approach. I could implies “I can” change, improve, and grow. “I could have” implies that I have the capacity to better handle difficult situations.

Rashi in this week’s portion compares the travels from Rephidim to the arrival at Sinai: “They journeyed from Rephidim and arrived at the Wilderness of Sinai.” Rashi comments, “Just as they arrived at Sinai in Teshuva, so they journeyed from Rephidim in Teshuva.”

We learn that they left Rephidim in a state of Teshuva only from their arrival at Sinai. Why does the Torah wait until their arrival at Sinai to teach us that they did Teshuva when they left Rephidim?

Rephidim was looking back at a mistake. Sinai was looking forward. Rephidim was “We should have…” Sinai’s Teshuva was “I could have.” The former was regret. The latter was a Teshuva of expectation.

Rashi is telling us that their journey from Rephidim to Sinai was from “I should have,” to “I could have,” from regret to expectation.

It is only in a state of expectation, “I could,” that we could be ready for Revelation.

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A great debate raged in early 18th century London: Was the lion battled by the Cavalliere Nicolini Grimaldi in the opera “Rinaldo” live, a real beast of the jungle, or was it only an actor in disguise?

I often wonder about the lions we battle in our religious lives; are they real or imagined? There are numerous terrifying threats to our spiritual being. But still, I wonder whether we are focused on the live or imagined lions. We can point at society with its values and mores and pinpoint how it differs from our image of a spiritual existence. I don’t want my children to watch television and learn that children may speak to their parents as if they were idiots. That is a very real threat. I do not want my children and grandchildren to grow up in a world in which relationships are casual and all too often, meaningless. However, the most fearsome lions I face are all internal. My own confusion, questions, desires, and inner battles all are greater threats to my relationship with God than those lions and threats outside the walls of my home.

Judaism has always focused on our internal development in order to face the lions outside on the street. Torah, Mitzvot and prayer all nurture our internal growth. They cultivate the clarity necessary to face the far more dangerous internal lions.

This week’s Haftarah, “A Mother In Israel” is the story of a woman who achieved such inner clarity that she was able to share her internal light with an entire nation and lead them to a generation of peace.

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I received the best birthday gift of all last night: A group of people made a very special party. It was a celebration of possibilities.

I meet with these people every two weeks and we study all sorts of topics and subjects. The last time we met we read a Midrash together and we all joined in tearing it apart, searching for understanding of its hidden messages.

When I walked into the house everyone knew that it was my secular birthday. They had read it on Facebook. Little did I know what these friends had in mind for me.

We decided to study Megillat Esther – The Book of Esther – every time we meet so we can finish (right!) before Purim. These people gave me one of the most wonderful hours of my life. We read the text without any Midrashim or commentaries. We wanted to simply read the text as if Mordechai and Esther were telling the story directly to us.

I sat back and observed and listened as a group of incredibly insightful people read Bible with passion. They tore each word apart. They “pictured the scene.” They imagined asking Achashveirosh, “What are you thinking?” They placed the king on a therapist’s coach and they clearly outclass Freud.

The insights were mind blowing! How could the king invite officers and servants to the same party? Was he not worried about insulting the officers? Why did he make the party “as he was displaying his wealth?”

How do you rule such a diverse empire? Do you use the melting pot approach of the United States? Do you allow each society to preserve its own culture? How do you impose your rule while allowing diversity?

The questions kept flying. Achashveirosh took a beating, but I received a most magnificent gift.

These people are not the most learned, nor are they the most observant, but they study with a conviction that it all matters in very real and practical ways. It was as if I was watching God respond in kind. There was one brilliant insight after another. They applied the lessons to the current political situation in the US. They discussed the application of Torah to each generation according to the specific needs and concerns of that generation.

I was observing Torat Chaim – a truly Living Torah. They discovered level after level of meaning. We all felt that the possibilities are endless.

You know what? With such people, the possibilities are truly infinite. We ended the night by dreaming of creating an educational system that nurtures living life and Judaism with that sense of the infinite. What a night!

Thanks Guys.

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They don’t trust each other so they place a huge stone over the well to make sure that no one takes more than his share of water. They wait until they all gather and then they roll the stone and uncover the well. What happens next?

I refuse to go to Wal-Mart for a Thanksgiving sale. People line up for hours, and the second the doors are opened, rush through to grab all the items on sale. Last year, someone was trampled to death. Was there a Wal-Mart rush at the well once the rock was rolled away? Did they all wait until the last person finished watering his flocks so they could roll the rock back into place?

If they could manage the lines, once the rock was rolled away, why could they not figure out a better system?

If they could cooperate to the point that they would all patiently wait until the last person, even a young woman such as Rachel, finished watering her flocks, could they really not trust each other with a well? Why would they allow Rachel to use the well if she couldn’t help them with their rock rolling?

I picture them as people stuck in a pattern of behavior that no longer made sense. They all unthinkingly went along with established custom.

Their behavior patterns were the rock on the well. At least until Jacob came along.

He noticed the rock. It was huge enough for three shepherds to lounge on top of it. Jacob knew that they were waiting for help. He also knew that their lounging around was the strongest indication of their thinking. Haran would never be the same.

Jacob challenged their behavior, and they, just as we respond, became defensive. Jacob rolled that rock right off the well as an symbol of what he was going to do in Haran and every place he would visit over the course of his life, and as his children would do in every country and in every century.

Jacob was a rock roller, as we have been in order to survive the long exile. Jacob challenges us in every generation by asking: Are you loungers or rollers?

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What is it with all the boulders in this week’s portion?

The first large rock that appears was used as a Monument by Jacob. He immediately sets off on his way and comes to a well, sealed shut with; you guessed it, a boulder.

Twenty years later, to signify his new covenant with Laban, Jacob raises another stone as a monument. (31:45) His children emulate their father and also raise stones, but, unlike their father, raise a mound of stone. The parties eat on the mound, and it, not Jacob’s stone, becomes Galed & Jegar-sahaduta – the mound of witness. Jacob successfully transmitted something to his sons, symbolized by stonework. What was the lesson?

From one huge boulder to the nest, and then onto yet another boulder, which, in turn, is replaced by a mound of stone. Don’t stone me, but I suspect that something is going on with all these rocks!

We have the Foundation Stone in this week’s portion, (don’t forget TheFoundationStone.org on every portion) and on Chanukah we have God as our Maoz Tzur – our Rock of Strength.

It is interesting to note that the famously wicked, Laban, calls on God to be the witness to the covenant between Laban and Jacob, and Jacob insists on a rock as witness!

I. A New Existence
“Surely God is present in this place and I did not know! How awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God and this is the gate of the heavens!” (Genesis 28:16-17) Abraham did not react like that when God lifted him above the stars. (Genesis 15:5) He did not even respond with such awe after the Binding of Isaac.

Isaac did not associate the place of his prophecy with the House of God, but Jacob was convinced that his dream indicated an Awesome place, God’ abode, and the gate of the heavens.

Was it the ladder in his dream that convinced Jacob that the place where he slept was so awesome? Why did Jacob associate his dream with the place where it took place?

Jacob learned an important lesson from the ladder: We are not confined by physical space: “And you shall spread out powerfully westward, eastward, northward and southward.” We do not have to create our existence on the physical plain, but in the place where heaven and earth connect. Wherever Jacob would go he could find that meeting point between heaven and earth, and exist there. He was no longer limited by his physical existence. “He took the stone,” he simply went to the stone and lifted it as a pillar. He knew that he could lift it, something he could not have done before his dream.

He lifted his feet, and went toward the land of easterners; not Padan Aram, as it was called in the previous portion, or Haran, as it was called before his dream, but the land of the easterners. He reconnected with the Garden “in Eden, to the east.” (Genesis 2:8)

He went to back to east of Eden, (Genesis 3:23) to begin again from where Adam began his journey from Eden into this world.

Jacob returned to the place where Cain began his new life, “east of Eden,” in order to fix Cain’s mistakes. (Genesis 4:16)

He returned to Lot’s path, “from the east,” (13:11) to repair Lot’s mistakes. Jacob could travel to Eden, Adam, Cain and Lot, and repair their mistakes, because he no longer lived a purely physical existence. He lived at the meeting point between heaven and earth.

II. The Rock On The Well
The new Jacob arrived at a well that was sealed with a huge boulder. The minute he saw Rachel, he approached the well and single handedly moved the rock. It would never be replaced. Jacob busted the myth of the rock on the well.

How do I know? This was the well that Rachel used to water Laban’s flocks. We can assume that Jacob continued to use the same well all the years he worked for his father-in-law. If the shepherds needed him to uncover the well each time, how could he gain three days distance from Laban before anyone knew he was gone?

Once Jacob moved that rock it was never replaced. It wasn’t necessary. He shattered its myth of an immovable object necessary to protect the well.

Jacob’s dream had shattered his perceptions of physical limitations, and he busted the long and tightly held perception of the rock.

Jacob knew that others would misunderstand everything he did, as a person who lived at the Tiferet meeting point of heaven and earth. He was right. He could kiss Rachel with the purest awareness of their eternal connection and others would simply see a man grabbing a beautiful girl.

He proposed working for seven years before marriage rather than immediately marry her with a commitment to work for seven years, because the time and space of others did not concern him: “and they seemed to him a few days because of his love for her.” (29:20)

Laban senses and battles Jacob’s sense of time and space: “Such is not done in our place!” (Verse 26)

III. Whose Children?
“The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children.” (31:43) Laban wants to be known as the patriarch, and he makes a religious offer: “He shall be a witness.” Laban calls on God’s authority and Power as witness. He wants to play Jacob’s game.

Laban was right about one thing: According to the numbers, he was more of the Patriarch than Abraham or Isaac. Rebecca was his sister. Jacob’s four wives were his daughters. Jacob’s animals originated in Laban’s flocks. It was Laban who made Jacob a wealthy man.

But Jacob, the man who lived on a different plain of time and space, did not count the numbers. He simply lifted a stone, reminding all present, of his famous “Rock on the Well” trick, and placed it as a monument. He then told his children, “his brethren” in approach and said, “Gather stones!”

His children emulated their father and “took stones and made a mound,” (Verse 46) His children made it clear that they were Jacob’s children, not Laban’s.

IV. Buster
Jacob’s dream shattered his perceptions. Jacob smashed the myth of the rock on the well. His children destroyed Laban’s illusions of being remembered as the patriarch of the family. They too become rock busters.

Reflections
I was attending a Yeshiva dinner and noticed that there was a great light at one seat. I didn’t see a person; all I saw was pure light. I was convinced that an angel of God was sitting there. It was something even higher than an angel: I walked over and saw that there was a ‘person’ sitting there, Professor Chaim Sober.

People know him as a great martial artist. In fact, he can shatter boulders. He is the founder of Tora Dojo.

Jacob’s children do not sing of his praises as a great martial artist. They celebrate the man, who when comparing Tai Chi moves explains different customs about Shabbat candle lighting. Jacob’s children do not whisper in awe about his wondrous feats of energy and meditation. They see a man who has learned Jacob’s lessons and lives at that special place where Jacob lived: The meeting place between heaven and earth. No wonder his face shines brighter than an angel’s.

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My father zt”l always told me that a person “who is a person who truly honors his parents will have good children”. He also told me, in 1964, that one of his students, D, practiced extraordinary honor of his parents. So, keeping the two ideas in mind, I was excited to meet D’s son. If D was truly a master of honoring his parents, and I believe my father, his son must be a very special person. I had never met him, but I couldn’t wait to see how good a person he is.

He’s not. He went out of his way to try to publicly insult me. I have heard so much worse, that I didn’t feel insulted. My only thought was of my father.

It is unusual for me to feel that my father was mistaken about a Torah based idea or an observation of human behavior. So, I assumed that I was mistaken, and the son I perceived as a very rude and obnoxious person, must actually be a good guy. I was willing to consider his rude behavior as a reaction to me. (I’ve often been told that I bring out the worst in some people.)

How could I find out?

At least I had some lessons from another ‘father,’ Isaac, the Patriarch, as how to handle such people: “Abimelech went to him from Gerar with a group of his friends and Phicol, general of his legion. Isaac said to him, “Why have you come to me? You hate me.” (Genesis 26:26-27)

I could do as Isaac did and say, “You hate me. Why?” Abimelech was not insulted by Isaac’s forthrightness: “We have indeed seen that God is with you.” Yes, I hate you, but, hey, you have God on your side, so let’s cooperate!

No matter how rude this fellow was to me, he couldn’t be worse than Abimelech.

I used the Isaac approach: “You hate me. You attempted to publicly insult me. Please tell me why.”

It didn’t work. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with pure venom as he walked away.

Is it possible that both Isaac and my father were wrong? Inconcievable!

I cannot blame this person’s mother; she is an even finer person than her husband. I thought back on my father’s words and found the answer. He differentiated between a person who practiced all the behaviors of Kibud Av v’Eim – honoring parents – and a person who is a person whose essence is to honor his parents. The actions do not necessarily change a person’s essence. A person may do everything according to the letter of the law, but not be a person who honors his parents. It’s like the person who performs all the actions of love without really loving his wife. She will know, and parents know when their child honors them and when he is simply going through the motions.

I thought back on my father’s description of D: “practiced extraordinary honor of his parents,” he did not say that D was a true honorer of his parents. No wonder his son is so rude! I can only claim to be a person who honors his father, not just in action but in essence, by being more careful in listening to his words.

What about Isaac? I still believe in being straightforward about such things, and not pretending that I am a friend of someone who is actually an enemy. But, Isaac did not go to Abimelech. He waited for the king to come to him. I should not have approached D’s son with my question. I should have been more careful in listening to Isaac, and waited for the young man to come to me. I can become a child whose essence honors Isaac only when I am more careful in following his lead.

I’ll try.
Rabbeinu Yonah: Honoring Parents & Tools For Honoring Parents
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People often ask me about the Jewish problem with tattoos.

I believe that it is an issue with the idea of permanence. (See Looking For Permanence) One of the Jewish inmates I served as a prison chaplain had a tattoo of a heart with a long list of names of women he had loved. Ever name, save the last, had an additional tattoo across it. He told me that he was going to have the bottom name crossed out as well because she had abandoned him when he was sentenced to life in prison.

“Why have the names tattooed on your (huge) arm if they don’t last?” I naively asked. “I only tattoo the name of a woman who I’m gonna be with forever,” he answered with full sincerity.

Rather than a permanent tribute to love, he had a permanent record of failed relationships.

I usually ask people with tattoos that are a few years old, if they would choose the same design today. Although a few people say, “Yes,” most people would choose a different design. They simply decide to have another tattoo with the new design.

“If you realize that your taste changes, why do something so permanent?”

“This one will last! I have a better sense of myself and how I will be for the rest of my life.”

Judaism celebrates our ability to change and grow. We are never stuck if we choose to change and grow. We rage, rage against the idea of permanence, except in a Covenant with God, and that is a reflection of God’s Unity, and not of our ability to achieve permanence.

It may feel like our problems are permanent, but they are not. We may expect our relationships to last, but not all, will. Judaism sees life as an ever-changing adventure, and warns us against locking ourselves into anything that will limit our ability to evolve.

The Torah associates such ideas of permanence with failure or blindness. Eisav failed because of his desire for permanence. The Torah does not associate God’s Name with anyone while they are alive, because even the great one’s can fall and fail. Yochanan Kohen Gadol served as High Priest for 40 years, only to lose his way. There is only one person in the bible with whom the Torah associates God’s Name even while the person was alive: Isaac. His blindness limited his movement to his immediate home, and there was no danger of his falling off his righteous path.

So, I’ll forego any tattoos, at least for now; after all, nothing is permanent.

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