‘Relationships’ Category Archives

24
Jul

Inspiring Good

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Holidays, Relationships

Helping Hands

“And those who bring the people to do the right thing shall be as the stars, eternal (Daniel 12:3).” The Midrash comments: Just as one sees the light of the stars from one end of the world to the other, so, too, one sees the light of Good People from one end of the world to the other. Just as the stars are sometimes visible and at other times hidden, so, too, with Good People. Just as the clusters of stars are so numerous they cannot be counted, so, too, the groups of Good People are innumerable (Sifre Devarim, Eikev, 11:47).”

The righteous, or the Good People, are described by Daniel as, “those who bring the many to do the right thing.” During the Three Weeks, when we suffer the consequences of baseless hatred, perhaps we should consider Daniel’s lesson and focus on being counted among those who inspire others to do the right thing.

After the reading of Lamentations on the night of Tisha b’Av, the final Kinah, “How long must Zion cry and Jerusalem mourn,” we speak of the 12 signs of the zodiac, based on the Talmud (Chagigah 5b) which describes how, after the destruction of the Temples, even the heavenly hosts joined in mourning with Israel. Rather than mourn the weeping of the constellations, we can become, as described by Daniel and the Midrash above, as new constellations of light in the world.

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Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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27
Dec

Playing Her Way Into Eden: Questions:

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Portion of the Week, Relationships

Playing-Her-Way-Into-Eden

They prepared Jacob for the news that Joseph was alive; fearing that a sudden announcement might shock and harm Jacob, the brothers sent one of his granddaughters, Serach daughter of Asher, to prepare him. She played her harp, singing gently that Joseph was still alive and that he was the ruler of Egypt. Slowly, Jacob’s long sadness evaporated and he blessed her for having lifted his spirits. As a result, she was still alive centuries later, and eventually entered the Garden of Eden alive (Chapters of Rabbi Eliezer).

Are we to believe that because Jacob heard the news in a song accompanied by a harp that he could sufficiently absorb the message for his sadness to evaporate, and for him to be so grateful, that Serach, not only merited a centuries long life, but also to enter the Garden of Eden alive?

The Midrashim go into great lengths to describe this woman:

Some say: Serach, the daughter of Asher, completed the count of the seventy souls that came to Egypt together with them.

Thus it is written, “A wise woman called out from the city and Joab drew close to her. The woman said, “Are you Joab (II Samuel 20:16–17).” With these words she was saying in effect, “Your name is Joab, which is to say that you are like a father (Av, as in YoAV) to Israel. Yet, you are nothing but a reaper and a murderer, and thus you are not acting according to your name! Now, are you and David not Torah scholars? Have the words of Torah ceased to be binding as of now? Is it not written, “When you draw near to a city to wage war against it, you shall call out to it for peace (Deuteronomy 20:10).”

And Joab said to her, “Who are you?”

She replied to him, “I am the loyal faithful people of Israel (II Samuel 20:19),” by which she meant, “I am the one who completed the count of seventy souls of Israel in Egypt,” “I am the one who delivered the trusted one to the trusted one; Joseph to Moses [she was referring to the incident in which she showed Moses where Joseph was buried in Egypt].”

She continued, “You are seeking to annihilate a city and a mother in Israel!” Meaning, “Why are you seeking to annihilate the city and also to annihilate me, a mother in Israel!”

Thereupon, Joab answered and said, “Far be it, far be it from me (Verse 20).” Joab said, “Far be it, far be it,” twice, by which he meant, “Far be it from David and far be it from me.”

“Rather,” Joab continued, “the matter is not so, but rather a man from Mount Ephraim whose name is, Sheva ben Bichri, has raised up his hand against the king, against David.”

“The woman then said to Joab, Behold, his head will be thrown to you.” Thereupon, “The woman then went to all the people with her wisdom,” what wisdom did she share with the people of the town? She said to them, “Do you not know of David’s deeds? Which nation has ever stood up to David? Which kingdom has ever stood up to David? We have no choice but to do as they wish!”

They said to her, “And what is it that Joab wants of us?”

“He wants 1000 men,” she told them, “each one of us should give according to what he has.”

“Perhaps by placating Joab he will remit a little,” she told them. She then pretended to go and placate Joab and returned and informed the people that Joab had decreased the number from 1000 to 500. She continued this ruse and informed the people that Joab had decreased the number to 100, to 10, and finally she told them that Joab went down to demanding, “one person, and that person is not even a resident of the city, but only a visitor. And who is he? Sheva ben Bichri.”

Thereupon, “They cut off the head of Sheva ben Bichri.” [Bereishit Rabbah 94:9]
I love these stories, but often wonder from where the Sages got them. How do they go from this woman lifting Jacob’s sadness, to being the person who informs Moses of the burial place of Joseph, to being the woman who saves a city from the wrath of King David and Joab?

To be continued… (I’ll post the answers: “Family Secrets from the Articulator,” if I receive some attempts to answer my questions? Deal?)

Author Info:
Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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11
Nov

“The Pain of Abraham” by Prof. Gerald August

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Portion of the Week, Relationships

Avoiding Pills

It was the third day after Abraham was circumcised and he was in pain. So how do we explain what he does? He saw men approaching his tent. He ran to greet them and bowed before them. He ran to tell Sarah to make cakes, and again ran to take a calf to be slaughtered for a meal. He then carried the meal to the men and stood by them as they ate, in case they needed something else.

Wait a minute. What about the pain? Did it magically disappear?

The answer is one I experienced years ago. I was visiting a friend in the hospital, and he was in bad shape. During the first 20 minutes of my visit, he was in discomfort and hardly spoke. I was distressed. But then I asked if he wanted to hear an idea I had on the Torah reading. After saying my part, he began, in an animated voice, telling me his thoughts on the Torah reading. He became a different person. After 5 minutes, his wife looked at me in astonishment, and I gave her the same look. This was the antidote. He was focused on something he was passionate about, and he ignored or did not notice his discomfort.

Abraham did the same thing. The story also teaches us how to visit the sick and be helpful. Engage them in something that is their passion, and they will be their own pain killers.

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10
Oct

Neighborhoods in the Sky: Succot

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Holidays, Relationships

Vermeer's Neighborhood

Vermeer's Neighborhood

My wife and I turned onto 26th street, between 6th and 7th, the New York City area known as ‘The Plant District’, and strange things began to happen. Storeowners ran outside and began to pull their security gates down, closing their stores. Others were rushing to cover all the plants on the sidewalk with sheets and blankets. People were staring at us with hatred and fear. We could hear strangers whispering, “Killer!”

My wife’s reputation precedes her. People know what happens to plants in our home. The situation was ironic because we were looking for some artificial trees that could survive Debbie’s care. I don’t understand how these people, who live in a different borough, know something that took me twelve years to learn about my wife. This is New York City, not an enclosed neighborhood. We are becoming paranoid as we wonder whether everyone in Fieldston, or perhaps even all of Riverdale knows my wife’s secret identity as “The Killer” of plants. How does everyone in the plant district know our dark secret? (I readily admit that one of the main reasons for writing this blog is to preempt any blackmail attempts!)

Some friends tried to ease our paranoia by pointing out that the Plant District is a very specific neighborhood and its inhabitants are expected to identify and deal with all threats to houseplants in the city. They seem to be correct: six years ago, all of Riverdale knew that we were moving to another part of area. Then everyone knew when we bought a new car. People even knew when we had a rescued Beardie in our home for a few days. The Riverdale neighborhood specializes in certain types of information necessary for the locals, and is not interested in other information. They do not know about Debbie and plants.

So, I wondered, how does a Succah district/community work? Would all the Succah dwellers in Riverdale qualify as a unique district or neighborhood?

The Plant Killer and I decided to experiment. Whenever we overheard singing from a ‘neighborhood’ succah we attempted to join. The Succah directly behind us was not impressed, nor were the Succot to the north and south. It may have been my voice: I had bronchitis and sounded more like our dog, Pip, than festival singing. But it wasn’t that: We felt that we were singing with the Geiss family in Geneva, the Stepanskys in Tzefat, the Biels and Perels in St. Louis, the Fishers in Boca Raton, the Jaffes in LA, and the Goldbergers in Minneapolis. We were definitely part of a neighborhood; a neighborhood in the sky. We connected across times zones and oceans and shared our Succot joy with people, who like us, were searching for a very special Succah neighborhood.

Author Info: 



Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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3
Oct

After Forgiveness

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Holidays, Relationships

The Next Step

I am convinced that a Shiva call is not considered complete until after the Seven Days of Mourning! The Shiva house is full of people, but then it ends. The mourner is left alone. He has to return to life with his entire world changed, without the support of all the friends who came during Shiva. The call after the Shiva has ended, when the people have left and the house is silent, is when the mourner needs a different type of support. The phone call after Shiva completes the comfort offered during Shiva.

I just finished speaking to a friend two weeks after he got up from Shiva, and I realized that there is a long list of “after” calls to make: not to the people who I visited during Shiva; those calls were made. I have to call all the people of whom I asked forgiveness to show that the request for forgiveness was only the first step. I now have to work at rebuilding relationships I have damaged.

I cannot make my “after” call and pretend all is well because I asked for forgiveness, but I must convey the message that I am determined to repair the relationship. It is only now that the real work begins. Is the relationship important enough to put in all that effort? Is the other party interested? How hard shall I try?

One more thought: Is this what our post Yom Kippur work is? Are we supposed to use our Mitzvot as demonstrations of our commitment to repair our relationship with God? Does the real Yom Kippur work begin after Yom Kippur?

Was that Jonah’s issue with the repentance of the people of Nineveh?

Author Info:

Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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27
Sep

Clothes of Righteousness

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Holidays, Prayer, Relationships, Spiritual Growth

Royal Robes

Royal Robes

“Who clothes Himself in acts of Righteousness in judgment.” (Rosh Hashana Machzor)

Not only do the clothes make the person; the person can ‘make’ the clothes. Clothes carry something from the person who wore it before I did. (Chatam Sofer, Toledot)

We dress ourselves in God’s garments with our acts of Righteousness – Tzedaka.

Author Info: 



Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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18
Sep
25
Aug

Rabbi Daniel Lapin: Thought Tools: When a Man Loves a Woman (part 1)

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Relationships

Thought Tools: Rabbi Daniel Lapin

The Foundation Stone wishes a hearty Mazal Tov to Rabbi and Mrs. Lapin on the marriage of Miriam and A.J. May the young couple, guided by their parents’ wisdom and example of magnificent Midot and values, build a home that reflects the greatness of the Lapin legacy.

A few hours ago my wife and I stood beneath a wedding canopy gazing happily at one of our beautiful daughters, Miriam, and the young man she has chosen to accompany through life.  The ancient phrases in the prayer book I clutched appeared a little blurred through my teary eyes.  Actually, recalling the event now is making this computer screen a bit blurry too.

This wedding played my emotions like B.B. King played his famous guitar.  Just as each of his string-bending vibratos I once heard on Beale Street in Memphis sounded unique, so this wedding felt unique.  Which is strange because its format was virtually indistinguishable from 124 other weddings at which I have been privileged to officiate.

Obviously every couple was unique, but each ceremony closely resembled all the others.  At every wedding I followed the same traditional script, exercising no creative originality.  Furthermore, there was little of a personal and individualistic nature with which I could have embellished Miriam’s wedding.  The structure of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony is tightly proscribed.

It would have been easy had I asked Miriam to prepare some personal prose for her chosen who, in turn, could have recited a few moving lines about his feelings.  That way we could have had a truly memorable ceremony.

But I am only the messenger of a Boss who issued clear directions that leave me little room for spontaneity or creativity.  These instructions specify how we introduce a man and a woman into the holy covenant of marriage.  Chiefly, the man formally accepts upon himself legally binding obligations.

You might consider this unsentimental process to be unduly legalistic; ignoring the rapture and romance of the occasion.  Yet, the ceremony’s structure is precisely what promises stability.  Ancient Jewish wisdom observes that legalities lead to love while love can sometimes end in legalities.

Business partners know that beginning with a firm contract is the surest way to a happy and durable partnership.  Though men and women usually feel the emotional intensity of love and longing, marriage can still benefit from listing all major expectations.  Love is a frighteningly unspecific sensation upon which to build a life.

Obviously love and attraction are a prerequisite for a man and woman considering marriage.  However, what distinguishes the covenant of marriage from the coupling of lust, are precisely the legal commitments.

A few hours ago a young man stood alongside his beautiful bride.  Before official witnesses, he pronounced his commitment to support our daughter.  He undertook to provide for her every need; emotional, financial, and physical.  My daughter then plighted her troth to him in affection and sincerity by allowing him to place his ring upon her finger.

Uttering personal vows alone on the beach in Acapulco or having barefoot ceremonies in a grassy meadow with guitar-playing poets is not sufficient for a Jewish marriage.

A legal ceremony binds together, not only my daughter and her husband, but also binds the two of them to the past, the present, and the future.  Present at the wedding today were both the visible and the invisible generations that carried the couple to this day.  Miriam and AJ looked out at all their family and friends knowing that their bond ties them also to the community.  And gazing into one another’s eyes the two of them knew they are forming a magical and mysterious bond with the future.

My wife and I smiled knowingly at one another.  This ancient legal ceremony precisely echoed our own wedding of a few years ago.  We pray that theirs will bring the knight and his lady the same joy, creativity, spontaneity, and romance that ours brings us.

God lays out His blueprint for marriage in the early verses of the book of Genesis.  Ancient Jewish wisdom reveals insights from the original Hebrew text and I present many of these permanent principles packaged in practical and useful ways in my audio CD set Madam I’m Adam—Decoding the Marriage Secrets of Eden.  It makes a wonderful gift for both the newly-wed and the long-wed eager to enhance their partnerships. We’re offering $10 off online orders this week. Next week we’ll explore the peculiar examples of love in Scripture.







Thought Tools by

Rabbi Daniel Lapin

www.rabbidaniellapin.com

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15
Aug

The Dance of Tu B’Av: Shedding

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Holidays, Relationships

Self Discovery

Debbie has an interesting understanding of the borrowed clothing of the Tu B’Av dance: One of the most important stages of marriage is being able to shed certain self-perceptions ingrained from childhood and school, and learn to see ourselves as our spouse sees us, and grow into our own skin. The borrowed clothes are the Sages’ reminder that the clothes we wear when we first marry are borrowed; they are perceptions ingrained from the past that must be shed as we enter marriage which can help us discover ourselves.

Author Info:
Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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13
Aug

Not Moment To Moment

by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Portion of the Week, Prayer, Reflections & Observations, Relationships

“I was friends with one of the crew members on TWA Flight 800. I had called her because she was on my mind. It had been a while since we’d talked and I missed seeing her. I left her a message on her voice mail to call me. A few days went by and I became increasingly irritated that I had not heard back. My husband said just call again or say what you want to say on her answering machine. I knew she was probably busy and was just waiting for some free time to call me back. Even knowing this, I became increasingly angry. I held back my love. I closed my heart to her. The next day her plane crashed. I deeply regret that I did not give my love freely. I was playing a game with love.”

The woman was measuring her love by the moment, by one action,and then closing her heart. We must try to see love in the big picture, not in detail. A detail such as a single phone call can be a distraction from real love.

David Kessler – Life Lessons Page 43.

“And these matters that I command you today shall be upon your heart.” (Deuteronomy 6:6) ‘You should always look to these matters as if they are new, fresh and exciting – as if the Torah were given today – not like a stale, outmoded dogma.’ (Rashi)

Although each individual action matters in a relationship, some more than others, we cannot measure our love for God by one moment or action, nor can we measure God’s love for us by the moment or single action. Perhaps the “Today” in the verse, especially when considered together with the “Alls” of the previous verse; “All your heart, all your soul, all your resources,” means that we look at the entire day, not moment by moment.

Just as with every relationship, there will be moments during the day when our love for God falters. There will be actions that do not reflect attachment. There will be moments during the day when we do not feel God’s love. We will suffer experiences that lead us to question whether God loves us. We strive to live days of love. We want to be able to recite the Shema before going to sleep with a sense that this was a day of love.We measure the day by its “All.” We want to go to sleep feeling, “This was a good day with God.”

Author Info:
Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.

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