I was stopped in front of the hospital by a representative of the Kabbalah Center. She wanted me to sign up for “An Introduction to Kabbalah.” “You look kind of religious; did you ever study Kabbalah?”

“I know nothing about the Kabbalah you teach.”

“Well, aren’t you at least curious?”

“No.”

“Do you believe in Kabbalah?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you willing to buy a red Kabbalah string that can protect you and bring good luck?”

“No! I do not believe in that kind of Kabbalah.”

At that moment I realized what was missing from the Garden in Eden that would have protected Adam from sinning: A red string,

Not a Kabbalah Center string; the other kind, similar to the red string associated with this week’s portion: How do we separate Bikkurim? A man goes down into his field and sees a fig that has begun to ripen, a cluster of grapes that has begun to ripen, a pomegranate that has begun to ripen; he ties a blade of reed-grass around it and says, “Behold these are Bikkurim.” – Bikkurim 3:1

The man has worked for months to grow his fruit, and sees the first fruits beginning ti ripen. He sees, literally, “The fruit of his labor.” He wants to taste that first fruit and enjoy the first tangible expression of work, faith, and worry. The fruit is right there, possessing the beauty that only his labor’s product can express. It is “pleasing to the sight, and good for food,” (Compare to the trees of Eden – Genesis 2:9) The first fruit is a powerful temptation.

He has a choice at that moment, whether to tie a symbol around the fruit to remember that it is Bikkurim; his first fruits are not his, but God’s, or, he can snatch the same budding fruit and savor the first taste of his labor and love.

That blade of reed-grass is the red string people tie around their finger in order to remember something important. It is a powerful reminder that even though he worked so long and hard, the first fruits are God’s.

Rabbi Shimon argues with the first Tanna of the Mishnah: Rabbi Shimon says, ‘Nevertheless, he must again declare them Bikkurim after they are plucked from the ground.” The challenge reappears when the farmer holds those first fruits in his hands. He looks at the string and remembers that they are not his to eat.

Perhaps if Adam had a red string to remind him that the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was God’s, he would not have sinned.

Even after Eve handed the fruit to Adam, he would have seen the string and remembered.

Perhaps this is the meaning of the Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 1:4) that the world was created – ‘Bereishit’ – in the merit of Bikkurim – Reishit – the first fruits. Bikkurim’s red string would have been a powerful prophylactic for Adam and Eve. They don’t get more magical than that.

Some people find the Kabbalah string far more attractive, and expensive, than the “Remember String,” of Bikkurim, but I’ll stick with the far more powerful plain piece of grass that was unfortunately missing from Eden, and could have saved the day.

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“This very day, God, your Lord, commands you to perform these decrees and these statutes, and you shall observe and perform them with all your heart and all your soul.” (Deuteronomy 26:16)

This is the meaning of the verse, “Let us come and prostrate ourselves and bow, and let us kneel before God, our Maker.” (Psalms 95:6) Is not bowing down included in prostrating and vice versa? So what does it mean to tell us> Moshe foresaw with Divine Inspiration that the Beit Hamikdash would be destroyed and the bringing of the first fruits would be abolished. So he went ahead and instituted that Israel should pray three times a day. (Midrash Tanchumah – Ki Tavo I)

The prayers are expressions of our longing for closeness and attachment to God. Some longings begin inside our hearts. There are higher longings that are rooted in God’s command. The commandment plants the seed of longing for attachment in the heart that is open.

This is why, “One who is commanded is greater than one who performs a Mitzvah without being commanded.” The one is performs that which he is commanded is grabbing onto the longings that are rooted in heaven.

The Patriarchs established the three daily prayers. (Berachot 26b) They gave expression to human longing for a relationship with God. Moshe established the three prayers as a Mitzvah, so that one who prays is not limited by his own longing, but can use prayer to connect with God’s longing for a relationship.

This is also the difference between entering Israel because it is a “Land flowing in milk and honey,” something for which we long, as compared to entering Israel as, “God commanded,” connecting with God’s longing for a relationship with us.

This is why, “To God is the earth and all that fills her,” before a blessing, for the blessing is the way we can eat as an expression of longing for a relationship with the Creator.

The Bikkurim, or First Fruits, are our way of connecting with Israel as connecting with God’s longing. This is why the person who brings the Bikkurim can say, “I will not move from here until You answer me,” and a Heavenly Voice responds and says, “You shall bring Bikkurim next year as well.”

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“You shall have a place outside the camp, and to it you shall go out. You shall have a shovel in additions to your weapons, and it will be that when you sit outside, you shall dig with it; you shall go back and cover your excrement. For God, your Lord, walks in the midst of your camp to rescue you and to deliver your enemies before you; so your camp shall be holy, so that He will not see a shameful thing among you and turn away from behind you.” (Deuteronomy 23:13-15) The army must prepare latrines outside the camp. (Concept #605) Prepare a shovel for each soldier to dig with. (Concept #606, Rambam Hilchot Melachim – The Laws of Kings and Their Wars)

My father zt’l often pointed out that the “shameful thing” was not the human excrement, but the way we dealt with its disposal: If both the community (Mitzvah 543 – Concept 605) and the individual (544 – 606) prepare ways to maintain the cleanliness and proper sanitation, there is no “shameful thing.” Both the community and individual are responsible to prepare. The shame is a community or individual that does not prepare a system to maintain cleanliness and sanitation.

My father would always prepare a garbage bag for the entire family, and ask each of the kids to prepare an individual garbage bag before we left on the long car drive from Toronto to Baltimore. He would remind us that it is not enough to refrain from littering; we could observe these commandments as we prepared for our trip!

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I hesitate to share my personal problems, but I really need your help: My first experiences helping someone bake were with my grandmother a”h, who, never missed an opportunity to share something she had learned while growing up in Slabodka. “Can I taste some of the Challah dough? It smells so good!”

“I have to let you taste some; it’s a Mitzvah! But you must first tell me what blessing you will make on raw dough.”

Guessing about laws was not allowed, so I figured that I should distract her: “Which Mitzvah?”

“You tell me!”

I got her; “Number 520!”

“How much can you eat?”

“Number 522!”

“How much time can you take to eat while you are helping me bake?”

“Number 521!”

“Wonderful! I am so proud. Now, which blessing will you recite?”

Things have changed. I now bake with my wife, at least when she is in a masochistic mood. I want to sample the product, and I’m more than ready to be tested, but she has a slightly different approach than that of my grandmother: “No! You’ll wait until I serve everyone!”

I try to explain that my grandmother paskened that it is a Mitzvah to let me eat, all to no avail. My wife paskens that a husband does not have the status of a hired worker.

I wisely and patiently explain that we apply the concept of the Mitzvah: A worker must be allowed to eat while working. My wife remains unconvinced; “Are you sure that concept applies to a worker who only makes things harder?”

Can you help me?

“When you come into the vineyard of your fellow, you may eat grapes as is your desire, to your fill, but you may not put into your vessel. When you come into the standing grain of your fellow, you may pluck ears with your hand, but you may not lift a sickle against the standing grain of your fellow.” (Deuteronomy 23:25-26) The hired worker may eat from the unharvested crops where he works. (Concept #520) The worker must not eat while on hired time. (Concept #521) The worker must not take more than he can eat. (Concept #522, Rambam, Hilchot Sechirut – The Laws of Hiring)

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One of my father’s closest students offered in 1965 to give me a ride on his motorcycle. “You have to ask your mother,” said my father. “But Ma never lets me do anything!” I complained. Jokingly, my father said, “So, I’ll get you a motorcycle when you are sixteen!” I was thrilled, but my father’s face turned white. “What happened?” I asked him. “I just made a promise that I have to keep!”

Believe me when I tell you that I remembered that promise. I fully intended to collect when I would be sixteen. I never mentioned his promise to him, but my father did not forget!

When I turned sixteen, he came to me and said, “I intend to keep my promise. Find a motorcycle I can afford.” I laughed, “Does that mean I have to find a model motorcycle?” “No,” he responded, “I led you to believe that I would buy a real motorcycle, so I must.” “What will Ma say?”

“You’ll have to work it out with her.”

Suffice it to say that he bought a used motorcycle for me. I never rode that one.

“If you refrain from vowing, there will be no sin in you. You shall observe and carry out what emerges from your lips, just as you vowed a voluntary gift to God, your Lord, whatever you spoke with your mouth.” (Deuteronomy 23:23-24) You must fulfill what was uttered and do what was vowed. (Rambam, Hilchot Nedarim – The Laws of Vows)

My poor father suffered for years over his inadvertent promise. I wish I was as careful with my words!

On the morning before Rosh Hashana we will perform Hatarat Nedarim, Release From Our Vows. We begin Yom Kippur with Kol Nidrei, again addressing vows made, yet to be kept. Perhaps it’s worthwhile to remember my father’s burden of a promise, while we consider the past year and reflect on what we must do to repair our relationship with God.

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He had faced all sorts of battles in his life, but never one such as this: Some people spread terrible lies about him, seriously damaging his reputation and carreer. Many friends and supporters came to assure him that they refused to believe the false stories and “obvious lies,” but he felt as if they did not look at him as they had in the past. This was not the most difficult battle.

A few months later, just before Yom Kippur, three of the people who had spread the lies came separately to ask for forgiveness. “For what?” he asked.

“Just in case I did anything to hurt you over the past year,” was the response of two.

“Did you do anything to hurt me?” our friend asked.

“Not that I can think of. Do you forgive me or not?”

“I am willing to forgive anything but Motzi Shem Ra (Libel).”

“Well, I have nothing to worry about.” This was not his most difficult battle.

The third person approached him in front of a crowd of people and said, “I should not have waited until Yom Kippur, but I ask your forgiveness for spreading lies about you, hurting you and damaging your reputation. I cannot undo all the damage but I will speak to everyone I know and tell them that I lied about you.”

“I forgive you,” he answered, and felt as if the third person had given a gift to him.

Almost twenty years later, he applied for a fabulous job. Everything was set, except the contract signing, when the head of HR called to say that the company had withdrawn the job offer: He had mentioned to a friend of his that he was hiring our friend, and the person recalled what he had heard from the third man who had asked for forgiveness many years earlier, and urged the HR person not to risk that the stories were true. Our friend pleaded with the HR head to call the original source of the story, but he refused; “I can’t afford the risk.”

He considers this the most challenging battle of his life: Twenty years later he still carried the wounds. He could not escape the lies. He couldn’t find a job. “I find myself wishing that I had not forgiven him! I think that the only way for him to earn forgiveness would be for him to tag along with me for the rest of my life and witness the devastation he caused.”

“If a man marries a wife, and comes to her and hates her, and he makes a wanton accusation against her, spreading a bad name against her, and he said, ‘I married this woman, and I came near to her and I did not find signs of virginity on her.’ Then the father of the girl and her mother should take proofs of the girl’s virginity to the elders of the city, to the gate. The father of the girl should say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man as a wife, and he hated her. Now, behold! He made a wanton accusation against her, saying, ‘I did not find signs of virginity on your daughter’ – but these are the signs of virginity of my daughter!’ And they should spread out the sheet before the elders of the city. The elders of the city shall take that man and punish him. And they shall fine him one hundred silver shekels and give them to the father of the girl, for he had issued a slander against a virgin of Israel, and she shall remain with him as a wife; he cannot divorce her all his days.” (Deuteronomy 22:13-19 – Mitzvah 540 & 572) The slanderer must remain married to his wife. (Concept #134) He may never divorce her. (Concept #135) -Rambam, Hilchot Na’arah Betulah – The Laws of Young Maidens

These are quite complex laws, however, the two actual Mitzvot address our friend’s battle and comments: The only way to realize the extent of the damage we cause to another’s reputation is to forever remain with that person, just as the husband must forever live with his wife! He may never divorce her. He must face his libel everyday for the rest of his life. He must remain married to her to prove to the world that he lied. Imagine the punishment of being married to a woman you have slandered and never be allowed to divorce her.

The Torah wants us to understand that there is no other way to fully appreciate the pain and damage we cause to another when we slander or libel them.

As we examine the past year through the lens of Elul Teshuva, we must carefully reflect on anything and everything we have said about others: Was it true? Did it hurt them? How much damage did I cause? How can I repair the damage?

This is why Motzi Shem Ra is the only sin we are not expected to forgive! May God protect us!

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“Who sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us…” is a blessing we recite at least two times each day. We recite these words as we wash our hands in the morning and before eating a meal with bread, and before Torah study. We recite the blessing once each week before lighting Shabbat candles.

We also recite these words on a yearly basis, or even a number of times during the year: Yom Kippur candles, Festival candles, Succah, Lulav, Matzah, Maror, and Shofar.

I always wondered why we recite this blessing only once before marriage. It takes constant effort to sanctify a relationship. Would it not make sense to make the blessing at least once a year on our wedding anniversary? Did we fulfill the Mitzvah at the wedding? If yes, do we believe that a relationship is holy because of the wedding and not also the constant attention we pay to making the marriage holy? Is there no commandment to regularly sanctify the relationship between husband and wife?

“If a man marries a wife,” we are commanded to acquire a wife by means of Ketubah and Kiddushin. (Rambam, Hilchot Ishut – The Laws of Marriage, Concept # 122) There shall not be a promiscuous woman among the daughters of Israel, and there shall not be a promiscuous man among the sons of Israel.” (Deuteronomy 23:18) We may not have relations with women not thus acquired. (Concept # 123)

The Sefat Emet explains that the meaning of “Who sanctified us with His commandments,” is that God designed our souls to be triggered to ascend when we fulfill these commandments.

A switch is flicked on when we fulfill a Mitzvah. Our souls are energized and ready; the sanctification of marriage is that everything we do from that moment on will be an expression of our soul existing on a higher level. A sanctified marriage will express itself in everything we do. All is triggered in that first moment.

We remember Sinai as the Sanctification of our “marriage” to God. We recall Sinai daily because we want to connect everything we do to that moment when our souls were triggered.

We remember the Sanctification of our relationships with the same perspective: We reconnect to that first moment when our souls rose to a higher level. We always go back to the beginning.

This is also what we do during Elul, the month of love, “I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me.” We reconnect to the first moments of our relationship with God and do all we can to keep that connection vibrant and alive.

Elul is also the month when we reconnect to the opening moments of our marriage, when the blessing was recited, when our souls were triggered. We do not recite another blessing each year, because we live with that first blessing.

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My father zt’l and I had walked almost an hour in a deep snow to get to a synagogue to pray. When we arrived it was clear that no one had shoveled the walkways before Shabbat. The steps to the synagogue were covered with ice. My father turned to me and said, “Let’s go somewhere else!”

“Why? Pa, I’m exhausted.”

“We can’t pray here. The Torah says, “If you build a new house, you shall make a fence for your roof, so that you will not place blood in your house if a fallen one (a person destined to fall) falls from it.” (Deuteronomy 22:8 – Concept #494, Rambam, Hilchot Rotzeiach u’Shmerat nefesh – The Laws of Murder and Preservation of Life) This laws applies to any dangerous situation including a swimming pool or ice on your sidewalk. We cannot pray in a place that does not observe a Biblical commandment!”

My father was Making a Statement. He explained while we walked that the Torah is teaching us that we must make our homes safe, and must work to be sure that there is nothing dangerous in our homes. “This includes a television, inappropriate reading material, and most rock music.”

Elul is a perfect time to evaluate: How safe are our homes?

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“Rabbi,” said the caller, “please let me know if you see a nest with a mother birds and her young birds or eggs. My wife wants more children and we were told by a Kabbalist to fulfill the Mitzvah of Sending The Mother Bird From The Nest.”

“If a bird’s nest happens to be before you on the road, on any tree or on the ground – young birds or eggs – and the mother is roosting on the young birds or the eggs, you shall not take the mother with the young. You shall surely send away the mother and take the young for yourself, so that it will be good for you and you will prolong your days.” (Deuteronomy 22:6-7) We may not take a mother bird from her children. (Concept 207) We must release the mother bird if she was taken from the nest. (#208)

These commandments are meant to inculcate compassion in people. We must accustom ourselves to act with mercy. (Ramban)

The person who called me in 1985, is copied every day by people searching for a magical potion. There are actually services that provide, for a fee, the opportunity to fulfill this Mitzvah.

I recently saw a Tweet of a video of a famous rabbi fulfilling this Mitzvah.

I wonder; Are we really fulfilling the commandment when we act only to earn special merit? Is that training us in compassion and mercy?

As far as I’m concerned, such agendas are for the birds!

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I was a Shabbat lunch guest of Rabbi Sol Berman. A group of us were climbing the stairs to his apartment, and Rabbi Berman stopped at each floor to talk and share a thought on the Parsha. I was wondering why he stopped so often, until I realized that another of his guests was quite overweight and was struggling to walk all the way up the steps. Our host was pausing to allow the guest to catch his breath. Rabbi Berman is a master of Chesed with sensitivity, and this is just one of numerous examples of this one area of his greatness.

“You shall not see the donkey of your brother or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them; you shall surely stand them up, with him. (Deuteronomy 22:4) We must help other load their burdens. (Concept 497) We may not leave them distraught with their burdens, but must help them to either load or unload. (#498)

We don’t have to wait until we see someone’s donkey suffering under a burden in order to fulfill these commandments. We don’t even have to wait until the next time we see someone trying to load a car. Rabbi Berman fulfilled this Mitzvah when he shared the burden of his suffering guest. We too, can fulfill this Mitzvah when we are willing to listen to someone pour out his heart and share his “burden” with him. We can offer our time and attention to someone who wants to restore a relationship with us. (See ‘What I Have Lost‘) We can offer our ear to someone who wants to share the burden of his heart as he reflects on what he wants to repair in his Teshuva. We can share the burden of another’s heart as they face a new year with fear and anxiety. We can share the burden of another just as God listens to us as we share our burdens with Him.

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