We have come full circle with the Master of Memory back to his dreams, and his guiding his brothers to restore their relationship with each other and with Jacob, and all the way back to Adam just outside the entrance to the Garden.

“Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it (Genesis 37:6-7).” Parts of the dream have been realized; the brothers bowed as they came to Joseph for grain. We have already explained how the dream was about the brothers, not Joseph, their greatness and unity, and, how one can bow with a sense of greatness without forfeiting his dignity. Yet, there is still far more to this dream: This was not the first time that Egypt fed the world during a famine leading to a meeting between Egypt and an Ivri. “There was a famine in the land, and Abram descended to Egypt to sojourn there for the famine was severe in the land (12:10).”

There was almost, but not quite, another meeting between Egypt and an Ivri; “Now there was a famine in the land—besides the previous famine in Abraham’s time—and Isaac went to Abimelech king of the Philistines in Gerar. God appeared to Isaac and said, ‘Do not go down to Egypt; live in the land where I tell you to live. Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants I will give all these lands and will confirm the oath I swore to your father Abraham. I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and will give them all these lands, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because Abraham obeyed me and did everything I required of him, keeping my commands, my decrees and my instructions (26:1-5).” Isaac was an unblemished offering, and, as such, it did not befit him to reside outside the Land (Rashi), although I would rephrase it and say, it did not befit him to ‘go down to Egypt!’ The verse stresses Egypt as representing the, yes, “Outside!”

This is a dream of how God feeds His creations. Egypt is watered by the Nile. Israel is dependent on rain. Egypt has food when the Land of Israel does not. Egypt represents a certain distance from God as the Sustainer, the very issue that led to the sins of the generation of the Flood, of The Tower of Babel, and of Sodom; the archenemy of Abraham. Egypt, “independent” of rain, is separated from the, “This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, when God the Lord made the earth and the heavens. Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for God the Lord had not sent rain on the earth and (Rashi: Because) there was no man to work the ground (Rashi: pray for rain and acknowledge God’s continued sustenance of His creation), but mists came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground (Genesis 2:4-5).” Egypt is separated from the primal human and his work.

Although separated from Adam’s original responsibility, even in the Garden, Egypt helped “feed” him: “A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold (2:10-11).” Rashi explains; “Pishon is the Nile; because its waters gallop and rise and water the earth, it is called Pishon, as in, “Their cavalry gallops headlong – u’Fashu parashav (Habakuk 1:8).”

Joseph’s dream deals with the question of Divine Providence and how we should relate to it. Egypt, as did Adam, desired independence from God.

Cain, of the original battle over the birthright, attempted to repair Adam’s drive for independence. The Sages teach that he brought flax in the form of linen as his offering, and, guess which land is known for its flax: “A prophecy against Egypt: Those who work with combed flax will despair, the weavers of fine linen will lose hope (Isaiah 19:1 & 9).” [There’s more to the prohibition of mixing Cain’s linen with Abel’s wool than meets the eye!]
Joseph’s dream is how his brothers who so struggled with control, would come to the realization that God controls our destiny, our food, our lives: “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but the Lord. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt (Genesis 45:8),” and, when they refused to accept Joseph’s message, he repeated, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of the Lord? You intended to harm me, but the Lord intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children (50:19-20).”

From the moment he awoke from his dreams, Pharaoh understood and debated with Joseph this issue of Divine Providence.

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“Emotions are the most basic form of communication between children & parents (Rav Noach Orloweck).”

“And they told him, saying, ‘Joseph is still alive,’ also that he is ruler over all the land of Egypt; but his heart was full of daggers, for he could not believe them (Genesis 45:26).”

“Joseph is still alive,” is a direct quote. “He is ruler over all the land of Egypt,” is an indirect quote. Why does the verse switch from a direct to an indirect quote?

The brothers observed Jacob’s reaction to their declaration that Joseph was alive. They saw something that made them hesitate midsentence and speak of Joseph as the ruler over Egypt with less emphasis. What did they observe? That “his heart was full of daggers.” The minute they said Joseph was still alive Jacob realized that when they came and showed him Joseph’s bloodstained tunic, indicating that a wild beast had devoured him; they had been lying. Their words of long ago were the daggers in Jacob’s heart.

I suspect that Jacob’s reaction was less of an emotional response than a lesson; “All his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to comfort himself, and said: ‘For I will go down to the grave mourning for my son’ (Genesis 37:35).” Jacob has been using his emotional responses to his children as his way of teaching them.

The brothers had never paid attention to their father’s feelings: Jacob sent them to Egypt to buy food. They use this as an opportunity to search for their long-lost brother. I assume that the search added a few days to their trip to Egypt. They finally go to the Viceroy to purchase food and he imprisons them for a three-day period, adding quite a bit of time to their trip, but we never find a single indication that the brothers even considered whether their father would be worried about the unexpected length of their trip to Egypt!

Perhaps the brothers were uninterested in Jacob’s feelings because they mistrusted them; it was his feelings for Rachel that displaced Leah, and made Joseph the favorite son, the one who would wear the hated Coat of Many Colors.

Judah disappeared from the family for many years because the brothers felt that he had failed in his leadership role when he chose to turn a profit from the sale of Joseph, and somehow he returns to the family, and there seems to be no concern to explain to Jacob what happened with Judah.

We never find Jacob bemoaning the loss of another son during all the years when Judah had moved away. Surely this was a man whose feelings could not be trusted.

Reuben makes a ridiculous offer to his father: “you may slay my two sons if I fail to bring him back to you (to see 42:37).” It seems that Reuben believes that his father could shrug off the loss of Reuben’s sons! They don’t trust Jacobs feelings.

They are so cold to Jacob’s feelings that when he says to them, “Why did you treat me so ill by telling the man that you had another brother (43:6)?” They miss that Jacob is speaking as “Israel,” they miss that Jacob is speaking of his experience, “treat me so ill,” meaning, “you were not thinking of me!”

Judah is frustrated with his father; “For had we not delayed, by now we could have returned twice (Verse 10).” Is this the way a child should speak to a father?

These are men who seem totally inconsiderate of their father.

Joseph has prepared them to change the way they relate to Jacob, as we saw in “Master of Memory V: What Was in His Heart.” Judah’s long speech to the Egyptian viceroy is all about Jacob’s feelings. The brothers are prepared to pay attention to their father in a way they never had before.

They still had to learn one more important lesson: they had to learn how their words and behavior affected their father. They prepared Jacob for the news that Joseph was alive; fearing that a sudden announcement might shock and harm Jacob, the brothers sent one of his granddaughters to prepare him. She played her harp, and sang gently that Joseph was still alive and that he was the ruler of Egypt. Slowly, Jacob’s long sadness evaporated and he blessed her for having lifted his spirits (Chapters of Rabbi Eliezer). We will have to examine that story more carefully in another essay, but clearly the brothers were prepared to pay attention to Jacob’s feelings. They were not prepared for his emotional response to their words; they were not prepared for his response to their admission that they had been lying to him for more than two decades even as they watched him in constant grief. Their words were daggers in his heart.

Their admission that they were liars and that they had been unwilling to consider his agony more hurt him than the news of Joseph being alive brought him joy! His disappointment in then was greater than his joy over the news! Jacob’s emotional response to the news and their admission was to convey to them that his concern over they are spiritual well-being was far more important to him than the news that Joseph was alive!

Could he have conveyed a more important lesson?

I think not.

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Tzitzit are always associated with light; they are even described as Clothes of Light. In this, they are also associated with Hanukkah, the Festival of Light. When we hold our Tzitzit during the Shema, we hold all four corners in our hands so that we are surrounded by Light. This is a perfect Kavanah to keep in mind as we move from Hanukkah, the Festival of Light, to the Tenth of Tevet, when Jerusalem was surrounded by the invading Babylonian army.

Rabbi Meir used to say: When a man wears the Tefillin upon his head and upon his arm, as prescribed, and his four knotted fringes enclosing on all four sides, and when as he enters his house there is a mezuzah at the entrance, you find that Seven Testimonies of his awe of God surround him like a wall. It was of such a person that David said: “The angel of God camps round about them who fear Him, and deliver them (Psalms 34:8).” [Midrash Tehillim 6:1]
Kavanah: “I hold my Tzitzit surrounding me as a wall to protect me from the enemies who surround me.”

This can also be used as a Kavanah when reciting Psalm 34 in the Shabbat morning Pesukei d’Zimrah.

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A rose may be a rose, but a willow is not an Aravah:

It is Succot for me whenever I drive on a road through trees. No matter the time of year, I am on the lookout for kosher Aravot – Willows – for my Lulav and Hoshanot.

There are magnificent Aravot in Dobb’s Ferry, but they aren’t kosher. The leaves’ edges are serrated, and since “Her (Torah’s) ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peaceful,” (Proverbs 3:17) sharp points, unpleasant and not peaceful, disqualify them.

Hastings on the Hudson has some “peaceful” leaves, but not the perfect combination of red and green branches.

Weeping Willows point down; they don’t reach up. The Z’man Simchateinu – the Time of Our Happiness – also precludes any weeping.

I’ve stopped on roads in New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, Connecticut, to the chagrin of my wife and the Highway Patrol officers who suspect that someone who stops on a highway to examine willow leaves is DWI.

There are willows that grow near stagnant water. There are willows with round leaves. There are willows with white branches. There are even willows with leaves in the shape of triangles.

Willows are everywhere. The perfect Aravah is harder to find. I once trekked through the forests between Santa Clara and Santa Cruz for hours on a failed search for the perfect Aravah.

So, I go to Riverdale Judaica to buy my Aravot. The hours of searching make the two kosher Aravot so much more precious. They are treasured. There are willows everywhere, but these willows are not willows; they are Aravot.

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Years ago I read a book by Anthony Storr, “Churchill’s Blackdog and Kafka’s Mice,” an exploration of how mental illness plays a role in creativity and achievement.

Dr. Storr describes how Churchill’s battle with depression empowered him to assume the role of prime minister in the darkest time in Britain’s history. Young Winston decided to name his depression, “Blackdog,” enabling him to treat his dark thoughts as something outside of himself. Once he was able to interact with his depression as an “Other,” he was able to fight it.

I decided to use a similar approach to my Yetzer Harah, or, Evil Inclination: I name it “Rembrandt,” because the artist was able to express so much even in black, the darkest color. I practiced interacting with my Yetzer Harah as an external enemy: When Yetzer Harah begins to speak, I immediately address it as Rembrandt, someone else, and find that I am better equipped to listen to his arguments and argue back.

“When you will go out to war against your enemies, and God, your Lord, will deliver him into your hand, and you will capture his captivity: And you will see among its captivity a woman who is beautiful of form, and you will desire her, you may take her to yourself for a wife.” (Deuteronomy 21:10-11) “The Torah spoke only in response to the Evil Inclination.” (Sifre)

The Torah takes the Evil Inclination seriously. It does not demand that we ignore his seductions, or simply stand up to him. There are times when we lack the power to meet him face to face in battle. We need to strategize against him, even to the point of allowing him some small victories now and again. (See Zohar at the beginning of Bo that describes Job’s battle with his Evil Inclination.)

So, “Rembrandt,” “Blackdog,” or whichever name you may choose, we are ready to fight you for what you are; an external enemy. “When you go out to war,” the first step is to realize that the battle is external, and can be fought there. We don’t have to allow him to enter.

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Dear Rabbi Weinberg; I have heard you say on numerous occasions that the laws of Kashering are a guide to repairing spiritual damage. Since the laws of Kashering are in this week’s Parsha, Matos, “Everything that comes into fire, you shall pass through fire and it will be purified (Numbers 31:23),” I was wondering where you got such an idea that I never heard in Yeshiva or from my rabbeim. How can you teach an idea which has no Mesorah/Tradition? YG

Dear YG;

I do have a Mesorah as do you:

“It is a matter that is clear and revealed that the laws of impurities and purity are biblical decrees. They are not among the ideas that a person’s logic will derive. and they are included in the category of, “Chukim,” statutes, as are the laws of immersion to be purified; for impurity is not mud or waste that are removed by water, but a biblical decree, and the matter depends on one’s intention. Therefore our Sages taught that one who immerses in a Mikvah that lacks an established status as a Kosher mikvah, is considered to not have immersed.

Even so, there is a lesson hinted in these laws that one who has intention to purify himself is purified once he has immersed even though he did not affect any physical changes. So too, one who intends to purify his soul from spiritual impurities, such as wicked thoughts and destructive ideas; once he has committed himself to separate from such ideas and immerses himself in the purifying waters of pure knowledge, of him the verse says, ‘Then I will sprinkle pure water upon you, that you may become cleansed; I will cleanse you from all your contamination and from all your idols (Ezekiel 36:25)’ [Rambam: Conclusion of Hilchot Mikva’ot].”

Many commentators wonder why the Rambam only mentions Teshuvah from destructive thoughts and not the purification of Teshuvah from all sins, and why the Rambam does not address the idea of immersion in the pure waters of Torah as part of every Teshuva.

The Beit HaLevi (Lecture 15) teaches that beyond the punishment that results from the sin of violating the Divine Will, the sinner has damaged more than one level of his higher soul, and has dulled his heart as is taught in the Talmud (Yomah 39a).

He continues, “We find that the impurity of the sin follows him around as a dog follows his master (Avodah Zarah 5b), and, our Sages have taught that the sin clasps onto him and precedes him into the Heavenly Tribunal on the day of his final judgment, as Ezekiel says, ‘For their iniquities remain upon them (32:27).

“When the person comes to do Teshuvah, besides that he needs atonement to negate the punishment, he must purify himself and repair the spiritual damage he caused his soul. and remove the blocks he has placed over his heart, as the verse teaches, ‘You shall cut away the barrier of your heart (Devarim 10:16).’

“When he has gone through the tree steps of Teshuva, which are total regret over the past, resolving to not again sin in the future, and the Vidui, immediately the impurity of the sin is removed from the surface of his soul, and he remains as a vessel without anything non-kosher on the surface, but still has impurity absorbed into the inside of the vessel.

“This is true on two levels: One, the habit of sinning has changed the essence of his soul and makes it easier to again sin, and two, the impurity of the sin as like something non-kosher that has been absorbed into a pot and must be kashered as the same heat at which it absorbed the non-kosher. The pot must first be rinsed of any surface non-kosher before it is kashered at the appropriate temperature.

“This is the idea taught by the Talmud, ‘When the serpent came upon Eve he injected a lust into her (Shabbat 146a),’ the same lust for sin that is injected deep into our souls each time we sin; a lust that corrupts our soul and empowers our physical side to overcome our spiritual nature, without any negative external influence to sin. The next sin will come from within. This is what needs to be Kashered, as the verse says, ‘Everything that comes into fire, you shall pass through fire and it will be purified.’

Nothing Kashers as does Torah study, as the Mishna teaches, “Whoever engages in Torah study for its own sake…‘machsharto, it makes him fit to be righteous (Avot 6:1),’ ‘machsharto’ as in Kashers him, after Teshuvah to remove the impurities absorbed in his soul and the barriers to his heart (Beit HaLevi; Derush #15).”

This is why the Rambam focuses on ‘one who intends to purify his soul from spiritual impurities, such as wicked thoughts and destructive ideas,’ for it is such sins that are the most difficult to Kasher.

My father zt”l taught me that the heat/passion/intensity at which the negative influence was absorbed determines the necessary heat /passion/intensity to burn out the evil.

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(Summer 1992) I went to pick up Oriel who attended camp only until 1PM, and noticed that his older brother Betzalel was sulking. I ran over to hug him and ask what was wrong. He told me that one of the counselors had said something cruel to him and he was hurt and very angry. I informed the camp that I was taking Betzalel out early, dropped Oriel at home and took Betzalel to a novelty store.

“We’re going to make a Havdalah set for that counselor,” I told Betzalel.

“I don’t want to give a gift to him,” my son insisted.

“Don’t worry,” I assured him, “you’ll want to give this one to him!”

We bought a joy buzzer to place on the bottom of the cup, and wound it up to shock the mean counselor when he picked up his cup to begin Havdalah. We also put invisible ink powder all over the cup so that his hands would be stained for a few days after touching the cup. We bought sneezing powder for Besamim, and an exploding cigar as the candle.

We began to imagine the counselor’s reaction as he would be shocked by the buzzer, his hands stained, his sneezing over the Besamim and his shock when his candle exploded. Betzalel couldn’t stop laughing.

“So,” I asked, “do you want to stop at the camp on the way home to present his gift?”

“No,” he said, “I already feel much better. I don’t need to do it. I don’t want to do something so mean. Let’s through the ‘set’ out!”

“Okay,” I said, “but we should through it out to fulfill a Mitzvah. Do you know which one?”

Betzalel, who was working on memorizing all 613 with me, quickly responded, “You shouldn’t take revenge.”

“Great! Anything else?” I asked.

“You shouldn’t bear a grudge.”

“Fantastic! Anything else?”

“You shouldn’t hate someone in your heart.”

We repeated the three Mitzvot and tossed the special Havdalah set into the trash.

On the way home, we discussed how he was able to express his anger without taking revenge.

My father zt”l called me a few days later: “Betzalel called to ask me a question about you!” he chuckled. “He told me about the Havdalah set and your discussion about revenge, but he had a problem; he overheard you quoting the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh (whose yahrtzeit is on the 15th of Tammuz) on, “Avenge the Children of Israel (Numbers 31:2),” that there are two possible approaches to vengeance; one, the planning, and two, the actual war. Betzalel is concerned that even your planning revenge against the counselor was revenge and he called me to ask about it.”

My heart was in my throat as I wondered whether my father would argue that I had violated the Mitzvah, even as it was pumped with pride over my son’s question, caring, and sensitivity in asking my father rather than me.

“I told him that intention matters and that your intention was for him to throw out the Havdalah set. I assured him that you followed the Torah each step of the way.”

“But,” he continued, “how did you come up with such a brilliant strategy?”

“I was raised by my father!”

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In honor of S.S.: “Bind them as a sign upon your arm and let them be Totafot between your eyes. And write them on the doorposts of your house and upon your gates (Devarim 6:8-9).”

It is difficult for me to find a gift for my wife; her tastes are measured by “her country,” not Yeshiva Lane. I have been successful from time to time only to confront an even greater challenge: wrapping the gift. I found a website that guides you in the actual wrapping, but I’m having a challenge with the bow. I spent more time tying and retying the ribbon than I did choosing the gift. The card is ready. The paper is (almost) perfectly folded, but I can’t get the bow just right. Is it as important as the gift? No, but Debbie is familiar with my artistic limitations and a bow tied perfectly by me would reflect the enormous effort in presenting the gift.

I finally decided to leave the bow askew because it would be proof that I, not a professional, wrapped the gift. The bow and paper will last only for the moment it takes my wife to read the card, and then she’ll rip it all apart, but the wrapping is a sign of the care that went into the presentation of the gift.

I wrap a present six days a week. I tie a knot that will not last long past my prayers. The way I tie the knot is a sign of how much care I put into wrapping my “gift,” my whole heart, all my feelings, dedicated to God.

I watch as people mechanically wrap their Tefillin each morning. They are as skilled as the professional gift-wrappers, but I remember that the Mitzvah is the tying. I am tying up my gift. It will be unwrapped when I finish praying. The special connection of that moment when I present the gift will physically pass, but the sign, the care I put into tying the knot, will echo throughout the day.

Permanently? No, but then it is a sign, not permanent like a tattoo, but a sign of where my heart is at this moment.

When I realize how much I care about the presentation of my “gift,” how my entire heart is focused on God, I slide my shirt sleeve over the sign; it is personal and intimate. A powerful sign that I cannot violate by allowing others to see.

That moment of intimacy allows me to take all the different compartments, Totafot, of my mind; the ones that are focused on paying my bills, personal issues, questions etc. and point them all in one direction, at least while I pray. The compartments are unified by my passion for connection to God.

The gift wrap, the bow, my feelings, unifying the compartments…all dependent on my prayer. I want it to last. I desire that powerful connection to last and define my day, so I want my home to reflect that passion. I look at m home as the carefully considered gift that needs the perfect wrapping, even with an imperfect bow. I want to preserve the gift and its wrapping, so I inscribe this feeling on every part of my home, and I walk within my wrapped gift, and find that I can live my life as a gift: This particular gift; the one I wrapped this morning.

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Daniel Kahneman, the 2002 Nobel Laureate in Economics is a psychologist, not an economist. He was lecturing to a group of Israeli air force flight instructors on the conventional wisdom of behavior modification and its application to the psychology of flight training. Kahenman drove home the point that rewarding positive behavior works but punishing mistakes does not. One of his students interrupted, voicing an opinion that would lead Kahenman to an epiphany and guide his research for decades.

“I’ve often praised people warmly for beautifully executed maneuvers, and the next time they always do worse,” the flight instructor said. “And I’ve creamed at people for badly executed maneuvers, and by and large the next time they improve. Don’t tell me that reward works and punishment doesn’t work. My experience contradicts it.” The other flight instructors agreed.

To Kahenman the flight instructors’ experiences rang true. On the other hand, Kahenman believed in the animal experiments that demonstrated that reward works better than punishment. He ruminated on this apparent paradox. And then it struck him: the screaming preceded the improvement, but contrary to appearances it did not cause it.

How can that be? The answer lies in a phenomenon called regression toward the mean. That is, in any series of random events an extraordinary event is most likely to be followed, due purely to chance, by a more ordinary one.

Here’s how it works: The student pilots all had a certain personal ability to fly fighter planes. Raising their skill level involved many factors and required extensive practice, so although their skill was slowly improving, the change wouldn’t be noticeable from one maneuver to the next. Whether the instructor complimented the student or yelled, the next maneuver was going to be closer to his average skill. If the previous maneuver was spectacular, the following flight would seem worse. If the maneuver was terrible, the next flight would, as closer to average, seem better.

The responses of God, Moshe, Calev and Joshua to the Ten Spies and the reaction of the people, make me reflect on what was the intended effect of each response. The people had fluctuated between the greatness of Revelation and the construction of the Mishkan and the low points of all their complaints, especially their response to the spies’ report. Some people immediately tried to regain their former heights and simply went forward on their own, only to be quickly defeated.

The people had never found their mean, their balance point, or, their “average.”

Perhaps that is why the portion concludes with Tzitzit: They are intended to be “Balancers” between our highest and lowest points. They serve to remind us of our greatness especially when we have fallen, and when we surge upward, we recall that they are “garments,” external, still to be internalized.

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What is the point of this story

What information pertains

The thought that life could be better

Is woven indelibly

Into our hearts

And our brains

Paul Simon: Train in the Distance

The point of the story of the State of Israel, as is that of the story of the Jewish people, is that we live with the conviction that life can always be better. This is the idea of Israel and is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains. Why else would we be so committed to attempting to make peace with people who have vowed to destroy us? How else could we possibly have become the “Start up Nation” even while in a constant state of war since the inception of the State? Life can always be better.

People have asked me how I can believe that Israel is the beginning of Redemption when it cannot possibly be considered a blessing to live under such constant threat? For me, the idea of Redemption, by which we have lived for more than two thosand years in the diaspora, is that life can always be better.

For me, the idea of Counting the Omer from Pesach to Shavuot is that life can always be better. We count forty-nine steps that we can climb to ascend to the heights of Sinai with the conviction that there is always something better at the top.

For me, when God asks only for fresh Showbread once each week even while sending fresh Manna every morning, He wants us to wait for tomorrow’s bread hoping that it will be even better than today’s.

For me, each of the appointed festivals that occur each year comes with the promise that this year’s festival will be better than any of the past.

For me, the Shabbat, which introduces this section of the festivals, is a promise that next week will be better than this.

For me, the sin of striking another human being includes a refusal to look at the person and believe that he can become a better human being. We cannot afford to look at any part of life or any human being without that thought that life can be better being woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains.

For us, the “Train” is never in the distance, but always just up ahead.

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