R’Shlomo on P’ Vayeilech-Fixing With Hands

Sep 21st, 2012 by developer in Holidays, Portion of the Week
The Mei Hashiloach begins to talk about something very very deep. There are two things going on with us human beings. There are certain mistakes which I make, we are talking about chas veshalom doing aveiras, that’s one thing. But then there is something much deeper. Every person has something wrong with them inside. This is why we are here in this world, because if I would be complete than I wouldn’t have to be in this world. So basically, this world is a hospital, this world is where I fix myself. The truth is that even after I fixed every aveira I did since I was born, I am still not fixed, because there is something deep deep inside of me which needs fixing.

I want you to open your hearts like mad. It says ‘Vayelech Moshe’, And Moshe went. And the Zohar Hakadosh says  ‘Kegufa Belo Yada’, like a body without hands. I’ll give it you a nutshell, maybe not a hundred percent but approximately it’s what it is. The Holy Ishbitzer asks what does it mean? The Holy Ishbitzer says like this. Right after it says Vayelech Moshe, it says that Moshe Rabbeinu told the yidden that every eighth year all the yidden should get together in Yerushalayim and mamesh learn Torah, this is called ‘Mitzvas Hak’hel’. All the yidden mamesh got together on the eighth year. When it comes to Mitzvas Hakhel it says ‘bring your children.’ The Gemara asks why do you have to bring children, they don’t understand what will be spoken there. But the Gemara says ‘Liten Sachar Lemivieihen’, a person was to bring their children in order so that the children would cause their parents to receive a reward for bringing them.

Now open your hearts.

There is a Torah which I understand with my head, when something makes sense to me. Then there is a Torah that has to do with my hands, I do this and I do that. But my hands have two functions, my hands down below represent what I’m doing. But imagine if I am holding up my hands, what am I doing? When I hold up my hands, I am reaching for something which I don’t have yet, I am longing for something which I don’t even know how to get. So the Ishbitzer says like this. Can you imagine what Moshe Rabbeinu was longing for with his hands? You know what happened, on that day he mamesh reached that point of getting to where he always longed to get to. Wherever he was holding up his hands, that’s where he reached.

There is a level which I did wrong, I did an aveira, and I can fix it by doing tshuvah. What about that part of me that needs fixing which is so deep, that which is beyond me? Dovid Hamalech says ‘Becheit Yechematna Imi’.We are talking about a part of me that was created like this, the way I was born, there is something inside which needs completion. Where do I reach that? I only reach that when I hold up my hands. That’s a different Torah. So I want you to know the deepest depths. When was Moshe Rabbeinu given the Torah of the hands? Throughout his life, Moshe Rabbeinu taught the yidden how to fix everything they did wrong, but how about the things they didn’t do anything wrong on a practical level? We were born this way, you gotta fix it.

Now listen to this unbelievable thing. When we take out the Torah and we put it on the table, we don’t say ‘Vezos HaTorah Asher Sam Moshe’. Do you know when we start yelling ‘Vezos HaTorah Asher Sam Moshe’? This is the Torah which G-d gave us? When we are holding up the Torah with our hands. Only when we lift our hands up do we say ‘This is the Torah which Moshe brought down from heaven’. The Torah which Moshe Rabbeinu brought down from heaven is that you can even fix that thing which is embodied in you. The holiness of the Torah is that you can fix that.

Now listen, just open your hearts. The Ishbitser says a mind-blowing Torah…mamesh a rebbeshe Torah. He says what do parents worry most about their children? Not so much about the mistakes they will make, because I know they will make mistakes and they will fix it. But I’m worried most about this one little thing which is wrong with them. How would I fix that, how will I fix that? So he says a gevalt Torah. On the eighth year, when everybody carried their children in their hands, what level of hands were they holding them? Are the hands on the level of doing something or are the hands on the level of mamesh reaching to the highest depth? When I am carrying my children to Hak’hel this is the Torah of holding up my hands to heaven. So he says ‘Liten Schar Lemiviehen’, what kind of a reward? I was given the reward that I can fix my children and I can fix myself. So how do I fix myself? When I carry my children. Unbelievable Torah, mamesh a Torah from heaven. So he says that on the eigth year, when yidden would carry their children up to Yerushalayim, the Torah of Hak’hel is not the Torah of what you did wrong. The Torah of Hak’hel is getting all the yidden together, and this is the Torah which Moshe Rabbeinu left us before he left this world, the Torah of how to fix that which can’t be fixed. It’s unbelievable.

This is what was given to us in Vayelech.

Okay, now I thought of something very deep.

Now listen to this sweetest friends. On Yom Kippur I am doing tshuva. I want you to know something very deep. I can tell one of my friends what I did wrong, and they will help me fix it. i can go to a rebbe and tell him I did this wrong, I want to do tshuva. The question is, whom can I tell that one thing which is wrong with me? I want you to know the deepest depths. I can’t even tell G-d unless I lock the door and I want to be alone with G-d. I am afraid to even tell G-d. So you know what the last prayer of Neila is? Neila is when I lock the door and I am pouring out my heart and I am telling G-d ‘you know something, this is all nothing. Yom Kippur is beautiful and cute, but I want you to fix that one thing which is so deep that only you can fix it.’

Now listen to the deepest depths, again you have to open your hearts very wide. There are two kinds of prayers. There is a prayer I am praying for sometimes, and then there is a prayer which I am praying for all the time, mamesh all the time. Obviously this prayer which I pray to G-d to fix the mistakes I made I am not praying all the time. Sometimes I make mistakes, sometimes I fix them. What am I praying for constantly? That one thing which needs fixing inside, it’s beyond me, I don’t know what to do with it, it’s beyond me.

This is Achas Sha’alti Me’eis Hashem… that one thing which I constantly pray for.

What’s a house? In Ishbits it’s very strong. Ki Beisi Beis Tefila. That prayer which I constantly pray for is called a house, a house is constant. Friends, let me ask you, do you know what it means that the Holy Temple is destroyed? We still pray, but we don’t pray anymore to fix the deepest depths. We only pray for the little outside things. The Beis Hamikdash is a place where you fix this deepest depths there is. I want you to know that Moshe Rabbeinu basically is the Master of the Torah what to do. Ahron Hakohen… how come Ahron Hakohen is blessing with his hands, what’s so special about his hands? Ahron is the Master of the hands. Ahron Hakohen, his thing is how to teach yidden how to hold up their hands. So therefor he has the holiness of how to bless in his hands. Everybody knows that the Beis Hamikdash is the house of Ahron Hakohen.

Now listen to this deepest depths. Everybody knows that the Succa is Ahron Hakohen’s house, annanei hakavod, the clouds of glory. Without even getting involved in the deepest depths.  The Succa is Ahron Hakohen’s house. You know what we do? The Ishbitser says, the only one who is mamesh praying like mad that I should fix that which is so deep are my parents. Who are my parents, who are your parents? Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov, Moshe Ahron, Yosef Dovid. The guests of the Succa. So you know what it is? On Yom Kippur I realize that throughout the year? I was always praying for the little mistakes I did, I was waiting to do tshuva for the little things. Why didn’t I pray for that which I have to pray for all the time, for the real fixing? And now I want you to go one step deeper. What does it mean that all of Israel is in exile? All of Israel in exile means that we are praying for little things, we stopped praying for the big things. Being in exile means that we stopped praying that Mashiach should come. I cannot bring Mashiach, you know why? Because Mashiach’s fixing is that fixing where my actions don’t reach, my actions don’t reach there. It’s something deeper than all this.

You know what it says? Vehesihiv Lev Avos Al Banim Velev Banim Al avosam. When Eliyahu Hanavi is coming he will bring the parents and the children of the parents. Mamesh, now it’s so clear, because the Ishbitzer says that the only one who can fix this inside of children is when parents carry them. And they in return fix their parents. So this is what Eliyahu Hanavi is doing before Mashiach is coming, the fixing between the children and the parents.

So this is the whole thing of the being in the Succa after Neila, after I lock myself and I tell G-d everything which is wrong with me, not this little things I made mistakes, that I fixed already by Mincha. By Neila I am mamesh taking G-d inside of me to that place which is locked all year long, I’m afraid to open it. So then I make a little Succa’le, and there my parents come, Avraham, Yitzchak, and Ya’akov, and they mamesh carry me into the Succa. So I want to add that not only Avraham Avinu comes to the Succa while I am sitting there, but mamesh Avraham Avinu carries me into the Succa, because how are parents fixing their children? By carrying them. What do we do with the lulav? Mamesh, the whole thing is holding up the hands. shukling, the hands, unbelievable. The whole thing about succos and the succa is the hands. I am holding up my hands, putting up the Schach. Everything is holding up the hands higher than myself. And then, the end is Simchas Torah when mamesh I see that the Ribbono Shel Olam put everything in the Torah. Suddenly I realize this is mamesh the Torah which is fixing myself. What am I doing? I don’t open the Torah, because that Torah which is fixing my deepest depths is not the words of the Torah, but it’s the whole Torah itself, mamesh the whole Torah.

I want you to know something, between people it’s also very deep. Sometimes I love somebody very much on a detail level. I am filling certain needs a person, I am doing them certain favors. Sometime a husband and wife fill each other’s certain needs, but then… then they cannot fix that which is missing. But if it’s beyond words, beyond everything there is like this Torah, Vezos HaTorah Asher Sam Moshe, the Torah of when you are holding up your hands, this has no words because it’s everything together. This is the Torah of Simchas Torah. And it’s unbelievable how on Simchas Torah every father and mother bring their children to shul. They mamesh carry their children because they know that this is the only way to fix it, they know it’s the only way to fix it.