Listen to this friends. The portion of this week is called “Nasso”, and it starts off ‘Nasso Es Rosh B’nei Gershon Gam hem”. Remember the Levi’im themselves were also divided into three tribes: Gershon, Kehas and Merari.

 

Ok, this Shabbos begins ‘Nasso Es Rosh B’nei Gershon Gam Hem’, lift up the heads from the family of Gershon. But everybody knows that Gershon comes from the word to be driven out. So the Shabbos after Shavuos we are reading “Nasso Es Rosh B’nei Gershon,” G-d says lift up the head of those who think they are driven out.

 

Now listen to something very strong here. Reb Leibe’le Eiger:

 

First of all, it should never happen chas v’shalom,when people just don’t stay together it’s called Gerushin, divorce, but Gerushin actually means to be driven out from the house.  So we find the word Gerushin between a husband and a wife, but the first time we see this word is when Adam was driven out from paradise. It says ‘Vayigaresh Es HaAdam’. This can mean he drove him out or also it can mean he divorced him. And then by Kayin when he killed his brother, G-d told him ‘you are going to have to run all over the world, you’ll never find a place’. So Kayin says to G-d ‘Heyn Gerashta Osi hayom’.

 

Okay, I really want you to concentrate.

 

Reb Leibe’le Eiger says there are two kinds of people. If I was never in a certain place, that means you cannot say I was driven out. Here we are talking about one of the families of the Levi’im. The Levi’im were chosen from all the Jewish people, they were the holiest tribe,they were chosen to be there. And yet, one of the families was called Gershon and Gershon means that I was driven out.

 

What was their story? Something always went wrong with them, it just didn’t work out. They wanted so much to connect and it just doesn’t go. So what do you do? So G-d says to Moshe, ‘Nasso Es Rosh’, life up their heads. Reb Leibe’le Eiger says the deepest depths. What does it mean‘lift up my head?’

 

Imagine I am 5 foot 8, so my thoughts are on the level of 5 foot 8, right. If someone says to me ‘lift up your head’ that means suddenly my thoughts should be on the level of 6 foot 2, but this isn’t where it’s at. G-d says to Moshe ‘lift them up high’. What does it mean to lift up my thoughts high? To lift up my thoughts high means to suddenly realize that whatever happens to me is much deeper than I think it is, it’s much higher than I think. A person has to realize one very important thing. Imagine if after G-d drove Adam out from paradise he would have given up. If he would say ‘okay that’s it, G-d doesn’t want me to be in paradise I might as well become an animal’.- Where would we be? Obviously he realized it’s got to be deeper than that, it’s got to be deeper than that.

 

So Reb Leibe’le Eiger says one thing. What are we walking away with from Shavuos? What is a person taking with him after standing on Mt Sinai? The deepest depths there is.

 

 I want you to know something very strong.

Someone came to the holy Rizhiner and he says ‘I’m leaving’. So the Rizhiner says ‘what are you taking with you. What are you taking with you’? So Reb Leibe’le Eiger says after you stand at Mt Sinai what are you taking with you? You see, as strong as it is, maybe you don’t even need Mt Sinai to show you how to get close. Maybe in order to get close I can get myself a little paperback book and here Moshe Rabbeinu tells me to daven strong, keep Shabbos, get strong and get close to G-d, maybe this would be enough. You know what I need Mt Sinai for? I need Mt Sinai for when I am absolutely driven out. When I am mamesh giving up. I’ve tried so hard my whole life; this is the two billionth time I’ve tried to become a Yiddele. I swore to myself I’ll do this, I’ll do this, and I’m giving up all the time. So suddenly,when I stand on Mt Sinai I realize gevalt, who knows what kind of great plans G-d has for his people. Gevalt, what do I know. What do I know? And above all, what makes me think that I’m driven out from G-d, maybe I’m driven in.  

 

You see, the deepest depths of Mt Sinai is that it’s not only that G-d is telling me what to do and what not to do. The deepest depths of Mt Sinai is that I know that G-d is dealing with me. Everything is important, everything is important, what do I know what I am doing in this world. What do I know why I have to be in this world? And even if you don’t know but you are aware that you don’t know of this, ‘Nasso Es Rosh’, lift upyour head, you know you’re whole outlook has to be completely different, your head has to be somewhere else.

 

So Reb Leibe’le says that the essence of the kedusha of Shevet Levi is that this is their holiness. They were on the level to lif tup their heads, and their whole thing was the service in the Beis Hamikdash. What’s the beis Hamikdash all about? You come to the Beis Hamikdash and you think you are driven out and suddenly you realize you were never driven out… you were never driven out. 

 

You see, when Moshiach is coming G-d won’t take us back to paradise but suddenly we will realize paradise was here the whole time.That’s all there is to it.

 So he says something very beautiful.

Let’s put it in a very deep way; you see on one hand the strangest thing is always this tremendous paradox and this tremendous contradiction. On one hand I have to know that if I don’t keep Shabbos I’m in bad shape. If I’m not a Yiddele I’m in bad shape. On the other hand, if I’m trying so hard and I didn’t get there yet, on the other hand I have to know there is something deep going on between me and G-d. Something so deep going on; the deepest depths there is.  

I don’t know if I made myself clear. You know what I want to say is, Shabbos is not just a law. Shabbos is not a good thing. Shabbos is one of the deepest, deepest things, which are going on between me and G-d.And every mitzvah of the Torah means there is something going on between me and G-d. The holiness of Mt Sinai is that this something goes on even while I am not doing it. Even while I am “crechtsing” or while I am crying for it. Obviously I have to cry for it because if I am not crying for it, it’s not that I’m driven out, I just walked out on myself.

 

So the whole portion talks about being driven out. First B’nei Gershon. They thought they were driven out because the other families of the Levi’im, their worship was mamesh inside and Bnei Gershon were mamesh outside, so they felt driven out, like we are not insiders.  

Then it talks about the person who stole and doesn’t know how to give back, when to give back. Then it talks about a woman, and the husband thinks she wasn’t faithful to him and he has to take her to the Beis HaMikdash. Then there’s a nazir, and obviously the Gemara says, he knew just he can’t manage life anymore. He just can’t manage it the way it is. So he decided I am mamesh going to mamesh dry myself up from the world, I won’t have no part in the world no more. I’m going to live far from society, take no part in life,which is also bad.

 

Now imagine I have trouble keeping Shabbos, I have trouble putting on tefilin in the morning. I have trouble not getting angry. I have trouble getting out of talking evil abou tother people. Let’s put it this way, last Shabbos I mamesh swore to myself from now on I will not talk evil about other people anymore. The craziest thing happened to me; right after Havdalah I answered the first phone call and don’t ask questions, don’t ask, someone tells me, did you hear what this one did? And my first reflex is that I should say ‘you know brother, I’m not interested’,but I really was. So right away I’m driven out, I give up. I decided not to talk evil and the first phone call I’m off. So what was my problem, really? You know what my problem was? I just accepted it upon myself I should not talk evil because it says that you shouldn’t do evil. But you know something friends, it just doesn’t work this way. This is obviously not deep enough to get through to my bones. What was missing? You got to connect yourself to another place;“Noseh Es Rosh,” mamesh lift up your head.

 

You know what I want to say? Lift up your head to that place how it was before G-d gave it to you.Imagine what G-d thought, imagine when G-d wrote the Torah for me. Imagine like this. When I read a business letter my connection to the letter is right now the way the letters is here on my desk and I’m reading it. When I’m reading a love letter I’m seeing this person who wrote the letter before me and I even hear their voice the way they write this letter.

 

You see, if you connect yourself to the Torah the way it was when G-d wrote it that’s something else. Sometimes a person gives you a gift, how do you know how much a person waited weeks, or months before they gave it to you, or how long they thought about what they should give to you. What do you know? How do you know how many days they carried it in their pockets and put their hands in their pockets every two minutes to see if it’s still there. And every thought counts, everything is real.

 

Between people this is so deep, it’s so deep. What do you know about the other person? What do you know?The question is not only what do you know about the other person; what do you know about the other person the way they relate to you, what do you know.

 

A Yidele, at one time hewas a chassidishe Yiddele; he was keeping Shabbos all the time. He came to America and he realized I got to make a living. He doesn’t keep Shabbos anymore, that’s it, forget it. And that’s it, live in America, be realistic.Then there’s another Yidele, also a chassidishe Yiddele. He came to America and he can’t make a living and nebech he has to work on Shabbos but the whole Shabbos mamesh his tears are flowing like mad. Gevalt, What happened to me,gevalt, where am I? Gevalt. What’s the difference between these two people? The difference is very simple.

The first one, at one time kept Shabbos, he kept Shabbos five hundred times and stopped keeping it. He was never connected to Shabbos. The second Yidele was not only keeping Shabbos -he was connected to it.So maybe he wasn’t keeping it anymore, but he never gave up the connection. I have seen Yiddelach who have stopped learning but whenever they see a Gemara they start crying. Gevalt. And I’ve seen people who have stopped learning and so….. nothing.

 Let’s put it this way,imagine you were married and then you got divorced. And then you meet your old wife on the street and you say “hi,” and you think ‘wow, was I crazy, how could I ever married her! I have nothing to do with her’. Imagine if you meet your old wife and you cry and say ‘gevalt, I wish I could get together with you’.

 So same as with Shabbos.You meet Shabbos, you meet your old bride Shabbos and you start crying, Oy Ribbono Shel Olam, my holiest bride Shabbos, I wish we could get together again. So you know this connection is deeper than the keeping of Shabbos, because a lot of people are married, how do you know they are connected, how do you know? You know, I don’t say G-d forbid they should get divorced and see how it feels and then get back together but just imagine. Imagine there would be such a thing that every couple who is married for two years has to get away for each half a year.  Like a little Shemittah. I’ll tell you something it would be an absolutely deodorizing thing. Those who mamesh stick together would get together and those who don’t belong together just would not get together. 

 

Ok, so this Shabbos is “Nasso Es Rosh B’Nei Gershon.” G-d says Gevalt, if you are a Yidele who is driven out but you are crying gevalt that means you are okay. So G-d says to Moshe tells those Yidele who are crying because they were driven out you’re ok, you know.“Nasso Es Rosh,” lift your head, you are okay. If you walk around thinking you are driven out that means you are connected, and if you are connected you will get back,I promise you.

 

I want you to know thereis a Torah from the Ishbitser, which is unbelievably deep. Which is the strongest part of my soul? Is the strongest part of my soul all the things I do right or is it maybe that part of me where I always do wrong and I’m still crying I want to do right. So the holy Ishbitzer says a way out Torah. That that part of me where I am always failing, how come I didn’t give up yet? How come I am always trying again? That means this is really the strongest thing inside of me.  You know I have seen some kids, and it just doesn’t go and they leave and some people mamesh always try again and again and again because this is the strongest connection they have.

 

 

So anyway, this Shabbos,the Shabbos after Matan Torah after Mt Sinai, the highness of this Shabbos is like we are really are tasting how it feels to be driven out. Imagine I feel to myself, gevalt, what would I do G-d forbid if I wouldn’t have any holy book.Gevalt, what would I do without holy books. What would I do if suddenly someone would steal from me the holy Ishbitzer sefer, right? Gevalt, you know. And then I’m opening the book like it was taken away from me, that’s real learning,that’s the real thing. Cause the first Shabbos, -I want you to know something very strong.  

There’s a Rizhiner Torah,-I want you to know Rizhin, -sadly enough the world, it looks most of the world have not seen yet really mamesh somebody learning the Rizhiner. Have you everseen people mamesh learning Rizhiner Torah, mamesh learning, you know.  The Alexanderer brings down one Torah, one word from the Rizhiner and he makes a whole long Torahleh, you know. 

 The Rizhiner said that Shabbos “noch Shvuos” is “nocha Shvuas.” You know in Yiddish, “Shabbos NochShvuos” means the Shabbos after can be translated as after or can mean its another one, right. In Yiddish Noch, you know, means more also, right; another one, a second one. So he says the Shabbos after Shavuos is noch, -Shabbos nochShavuos; that means this Shabbos is mamesh the real Shavuos, -noch Shavuos,obviously.

So that means this Shabbos a Yidele has to test themselves really in all honesty how much I am connected to Mt Sinai.

 

I wake up one morning and someone would tell me, you know, the whole thing was a mistake, you were never on Mt Sinai, Moshe was never there, and the bible just is a fake, you know. It never happened, how do you feel about it? You’d say thank G-d, I had a feeling the whole time there is something wrong [laughter from the group] and here I’m, you know, I’m breaking my bones and I thought all those crazy laws, you know really disgusting and creepy and I didn’t want to say it before but now after the truth is out, you know I’m so glad you told me, you know.  

I hate to say bad things,you know; Imagine some Yidele, you’d really tell them, you know, I know you feel bad about Shabbos; I want you to know this was just added by the Union ofOrthodox Congregations; it was never in the bible, you know.

 You are telling me? I knew it all the time, that’s why I didn’t keep Shabbos, you know.

Because, anyway, how could my wife keep Shabbos when she has to go to the beauty parlor, you know.Obviously Moshe Rabbeinu’s wife had to be so ugly, she didn’t go to the beauty parlor on Shabbos, you know.

 -She was very beautiful.

 

But now listen to this.This Shabbos a Yidele has to test himself. How would it feel if suddenly you find out it doesn’t exist, what would you do then?

 

Listen to this way out Torahleh. Someone came to the Kotzker Rebbe; he says my heart is filled with so much doubt that there is one G-d.

So the Kotzker Rebbe says, I don’t remember exactly the wording but he was yelling strongly, he says -ok, so there isn’t; what do you care! So there isn’t, so there is no G-d!

The Yidele says, but if there is no G-d then life has no meaning. 

Ahhh, he says. If this is where you’re at you’re ok, right. It’s ok, right. If G-d means that much to you-then you are ok, right. 

 

So this is this Shabbos. So that’s two things; I want you to think of it. On the one hand I want you to like really to think if someone were to tell you it was a fake, how does it feel or the other, like I told you before, like someone who was married, got divorced and he meets his first wife. Will you stop her on the street, will you think, ahh, I’m crazy?

 

And I want you to know the deepest depths. The Gemara says you have to go over everything you are learning 101 times. You know what that means? On that level, like you walk away, you can’t walk away, you got to back. I just can’t tear myself away. And if you learn something 101 times, then you get to the depths of it, unbelievable.That’s what really learning is. Mt Sinai learning. 101 times.