A call was put out last year (see Elul:Presence) to comment on ‘Asking Forgiveness.

First of all, we have to ask ourselves for forgiveness..

Naturally, we all strive to be our best, and we are our own harshest critics.

Too many times we walk around, bearing crushing burdens of guilt.

Rebbe Nakhman says you need to recognize your mistakes as the first step of T’shuva, to then regret one’s misstep and MOVE FORWARD.

GUILT, he says, is EVIL, for it mires one in the Past and prevents returning to the pristine pre-mistake state of being.

Then we have to ask our fellows for forgiveness.Clearly, if we have wronged them in some known way to us. However, if we ask the catch-all ”just-in-case I did anything to upset you’ forgiveness- we should preface that request with a genuine request for forgiveness that our relationship with them wasn’t on a proper level of mindfulness;surely we haven’t had the appropriate measure of sensitivity-otherwise we wouldn’t need to use this catch-all “moichel me?” gainsaying.

We should also beg forgiveness for not seeing each other’s greatness or of not expressing our appreciation of it.

Many times it is not the rocky relationship that is the problem.The greatest issue is the relationship of indifference, of taking things for granted. We must make it clear to our fellows we care deeply about them, even if we have occasional differences.Otherwise each one of us is a wallowing sphere of loneliness.

On a National level, this is what Ahm Yisrael is suffering from. Many groups have legitimate differences. However, instead of emphasizing we are all brothers and sisters, all too often each group circles its wagons and broadcasts either explicitly or implicitly to everybody else ‘we don’t need you’.

REDEMPTION IS NOT AT HAND AS LONG AS THIS ATTITUDE PREVAILS.

The Torah of the Half-Shekel clearly tells us we can’t do it without each other!!

ChaZ”L tell us that we can beg G-d for forgiveness till we’re blue in the face, but, as long as we haven’t asked each other, bein odom la’khaveiro’ for forgiveness-there’s no atonement.

I’d like to suggest this is the corollary to the classic “v’Ahavta l’Rei’acha camocha,Ani HaShem” torah.All the rebbes say – How can you truly love G-d if you can’t connect to another human being who is concretely in front of you?!? (you don’t have to pinch them -they’re there!).And of course- you can’t connect to someone else if you’re not connected to yourself!

So, how can you believe you can ask G-d for forgiveness if you don’t ask your fellows for forgiveness?

The Chassidim asked the Rebbe, Rebbe Elimelech (of Lizhensk) ‘How should we prepare for YomKippur? “Go to Yankele the innkeeper and watch what he does”.

So they had their preparatory festive meal before the fast and went to Yankele’s house and peered thru his window.He and his daughter are wrapping up their pre-fast meal and Yankele tells his daughter “It’s Time-please bring them to me!”. His daughter climbs a ladder a reaches up to the top shelf to bring down 2 ledgers-one thin,one thick.

Yankele first opens the thin ledger and starts reading the entries. Crying, he goes thru the ledger-”Master of the World! The day after YomKippur, I was so caught up in things, I missed Mincha.Please forgive me!The next day I forgot to bentch after lunch.Please forgive me.And so on, Yankele goes thru the ledger.

But then! Yankele opens the thick ledger. “But YOU, Master of the World! What did YOU do last year!!! The day after YomKippur, Moishele the son of Shprintze the widow broke his leg.Twodays before Sukkot Chaim’s hous burned down! And so on and so forth, until at long last Yankele goes thru the thick ledger.

Yankele has both closed ledgers before him.”Master of the World-You forgive me mine-I’ll forgive You Yours!

The Chassidim report back to the Rebbe, Rebbe Elimelech.He cries out”Why did he forgive G-d! He should have said he’ll only forgive G-d if He brings the Redemption!!”

We’re still waiting….

Rabbi Moshe Stepansky, whose rich and insightful comments are one of the high points of this blog, is a master Ba’al Tefillah, who prays with the joy and passion of Reb Shlomo Carlebach zt”l, and travels to the United States as guest Rabbi. His teachings are as sweet as his davening. You can contact him to visit your community at moshe.stepansky@gmail.com