Thing or Person
Nov 14th, 2009 by Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in Relationships, Spiritual Growth
I was called to perform an emergency Taharah – the ritual cleansing and preparation of a body for burial. I was the rabbi of a large congregation, and although I had participated in Taharot in this funeral home, I had never been summoned for an “emergency Taharah.”
The manager of the funeral home, a friend, walked me to the door of the Taharah room but refused to enter with me. I peeked in and saw that there was a tiny body under the sheet, and assumed that the man, who had suffered the terrible loss of a son-in-law and grandchild in an auto accident, could not bear to see a dead baby.
I prepared everything I would need and uncovered the body. Whatever it was under the sheet barely appeared to be human. I was horrified by what I saw. I couldn’t perform a Taharah on a body that horrified me. My job was to honor the body, and I would not be able to honor a “thing” that I could not even bear to look at. I pulled the sheet back and tried to refocus myself so I could pay honor to the person, not “thing”.
I recalled Chapter 16 of Ezekiel, in which God describes the beginning of His relationship with the nation of Israel: “As for your birth, in the day you were born your navel was not cut, neither were you washed in water to cleanse you; you weren’t salted at all, nor swaddled at all. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you, to have compassion on you; but you were cast out in the open field, for that your person was abhorred, in the day that you were born. When I passed by you, and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you, Though you are in your blood, live; yes, I said to you, Though you are in your blood, live.”
I checked the record of the deceased and learned that the baby was male and had lived for six weeks. I uncovered the boy, and began to speak to him. “Your soul has been perfected and is gloriously beautiful. Although others may not appreciate your beauty; you are now with God, Who sees you as gorgeous.” I spoke to him each step of the Taharah, explaining to him what I was doing and why.
When I finally placed the baby in his coffin, I stepped from the room. The funeral director was waiting for me, and without looking at me in the eye, informed me that the parents were waiting to speak with the rabbi who had performed the Taharah. I assumed that they wanted to thank me, and I assured him that it was not necessary. “It is,” was all he said.
We walked into a room and he introduced me as the rabbi who just completed the Taharah. The mother leapt at me and began hitting me; “Why? Why? Why would God do this to me? Why would He place such a horrible thing inside of me?” Her husband and the funeral director wanted to pull her away, but I signaled them to stop.
By the time she collapsed on the floor, my glasses were broken and I had a black eye. The mother was on the floor in front of me, and I sat next to her and said, “I told your son how beautiful he is to God. I told him that his soul was perfected during his short and painful life and now was shining as the brightness of the highest heavens before his Creator.”
“My son?” “Yes,” I answered, “your beautiful little boy.”
“No one ever called him a person before. Everyone described him as an ‘it.’”
“He wasn’t an it. There are verses in Ezekiel that describe him,” and I read the verses to her.
The experience shook me to the core. The baby was difficult to see and touch. The mother’s pain was palpable. But I was most shaken by the realization that when I chose, I could see the ugliest person as beautiful. Why can I not do so when dealing with those who are living?
Author Info:
Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.
The manager of the funeral home, a friend, walked me to the door of the Taharah room but refused to enter with me. I peeked in and saw that there was a tiny body under the sheet, and assumed that the man, who had suffered the terrible loss of a son-in-law and grandchild in an auto accident, could not bear to see a dead baby.
I prepared everything I would need and uncovered the body. Whatever it was under the sheet barely appeared to be human. I was horrified by what I saw. I couldn’t perform a Taharah on a body that horrified me. My job was to honor the body, and I would not be able to honor a “thing” that I could not even bear to look at. I pulled the sheet back and tried to refocus myself so I could pay honor to the person, not “thing”.
I recalled Chapter 16 of Ezekiel, in which God describes the beginning of His relationship with the nation of Israel: “As for your birth, in the day you were born your navel was not cut, neither were you washed in water to cleanse you; you weren’t salted at all, nor swaddled at all. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you, to have compassion on you; but you were cast out in the open field, for that your person was abhorred, in the day that you were born. When I passed by you, and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you, Though you are in your blood, live; yes, I said to you, Though you are in your blood, live.”
I checked the record of the deceased and learned that the baby was male and had lived for six weeks. I uncovered the boy, and began to speak to him. “Your soul has been perfected and is gloriously beautiful. Although others may not appreciate your beauty; you are now with God, Who sees you as gorgeous.” I spoke to him each step of the Taharah, explaining to him what I was doing and why.
When I finally placed the baby in his coffin, I stepped from the room. The funeral director was waiting for me, and without looking at me in the eye, informed me that the parents were waiting to speak with the rabbi who had performed the Taharah. I assumed that they wanted to thank me, and I assured him that it was not necessary. “It is,” was all he said.
We walked into a room and he introduced me as the rabbi who just completed the Taharah. The mother leapt at me and began hitting me; “Why? Why? Why would God do this to me? Why would He place such a horrible thing inside of me?” Her husband and the funeral director wanted to pull her away, but I signaled them to stop.
By the time she collapsed on the floor, my glasses were broken and I had a black eye. The mother was on the floor in front of me, and I sat next to her and said, “I told your son how beautiful he is to God. I told him that his soul was perfected during his short and painful life and now was shining as the brightness of the highest heavens before his Creator.”
“My son?” “Yes,” I answered, “your beautiful little boy.”
“No one ever called him a person before. Everyone described him as an ‘it.’”
“He wasn’t an it. There are verses in Ezekiel that describe him,” and I read the verses to her.
The experience shook me to the core. The baby was difficult to see and touch. The mother’s pain was palpable. But I was most shaken by the realization that when I chose, I could see the ugliest person as beautiful. Why can I not do so when dealing with those who are living?
Author Info:
Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone™ is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish Spirituality & the holy Torah.
2 Comments
[...] those who are living?Learn & discover the Divine prophecies with Rabbi Simcha Weinberg from the holy Torah, Jewish Law, Mysticism, Kabbalah and Jewish Prophecies. The Foundation Stone is the ultimate resource for Jews, Judaism, Jewish Education, Jewish [...]
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Thank you for writing this story. Eventhough I usually never remember stories, it is one of the stories that stayed crystal clear in my mind. Interestingly, another story that stayed in my mind, was the story of David Hamelech sitting with the fetus in his hand and crying together with the mother… I guess that at that moment David Hamelech was next to you to help you.
I would like to suggest a possible answer to your question: The fact that our minds are not constantly focused on the reality of life ( = Olam Haba, a world where God is revealed) , we look only at this world with human eyes and not as our eyes being the windows of the soul. But sometimes touching/experiencing the extremes of life, “death” in this case , is a door for seeing as a soul and not as a body. Then you can see the human/beauty and not the “thing”.
I assume this is the explanation of the Gemara (and the Pirkey Avos) telling you to say Shema or remembering that you will die to escape the Yetzer Hara. It brings you back to reality that you are a soul and following the Yetzer Hara “Pass nicht ” !
It is maybe for this reason that Abraham and Yitzchak were two extremes, Abraham was extreme Chesed ,Yitzchak extreme Gevura, it was the only way to bring in the world a soul who can see with eyes of EMET which Yaakov represents.
So even though we are suppose to live a life of middle(Rambam), of stability like Yaakov, we need sometimes to reconnect to the 2 extremes (Abraham and Ytzchak) to refocus on what is truly valuable: Avraham teaching us the power of Chesed, of life , of potential, of growth, and Ytzchak teaching us the power of Gevura, of death, of the limitations we have, of time, of physical space, but also of Hashem’s Din, Power and Infinity beyond our grasp and of Olam Haba.
May we be Zoche to have always in front of us Life and Death so that can be called Bney Israel(children of the middle, Israel = Yashar El, children of Yaakov) and appreciate the Tiferes/beauty/harmony of this world and never see things as things but as Divine beauty.